Today when I went to the daycare, I swore I picked up someone who looked, talked, laughed, and was pretty much an exact replica of Pooka. But this child was different. This child had on the same clothes that Pooka had on this morning when I dropped her off! That can't be right because we've had accidents at nap time since day one of the new daycare, so the real Pooka would have had another outfit on!
In celebration of this dry day success, I kept up with my side of the deal and brought "Pooka" some fish for her tank and some bubbles she wanted from Walmart. Grand total $2.30! Since I didn't pull no meat out for dinner, we stop and get Subway sandwiches. We get home, we enjoy our dinner, we start to clean the table and I hear...
"Mommy, I am still hungry"
"What do you want?" *just knowing the answer will be the bag of Doritoes we just brought*
"Broccoli"
"Broccoli?"
"Yes ma'am, tree broccoli" *which means the frozen cuts, not the diced*
I brought the wrong child home. Pooka is wonderful with veggies and she's impressed many of adults with her ability to kill a salad. But this was the first time a request was made for broccoli when junk was in view. Impressed, I fix up a bowl just how she wanted, plain! No cheese, no nothing!
She eats, she goes outside to blow her reward bubbles and she comes inside to use the bathroom, she is in there for a minute so I assume she is handling business. I go in the bathroom to find "Pooka" wiping her butt! Now I KNOW this isn't my child. My child is too prissy to touch poop, even if it's her own! She'd kill an ant with her hand but she won't wipe her butt good without a few tears falling from her eyes first. So when I opened the door, got hit with the stinch and saw her wiping I asked her what she was doing *duh*. She said "look mommy I wiped my butt already", then proceeds to turn around and bend over to show me how good she did. She actually got up in there and wiped darn well! I looked in the toilet *to see if she was still constipated* and saw she hit her butt up a few times! I had a moment. I couldn't take it! Where is my child?
Time comes for "Pooka" to go to bed. I instruct her to get ready for bed and she tells me she has to take a bath first. I tell her that bath night is tomorrow night (the aim is M,W,F,Sun) and that she can take one tomorrow, but "Pooka" wanted a bath tonite! What kind of parent is gonna say "no, you can't take a bath, you took one yesterday". Most young kids like to take baths so they can splash around and see just how mad mommy is gonna get with all that daggone water on the floor, Pooka is no exception. But I still wanna know where my child is! LOL I like this child I got with me now, just curious where the original went to so fast!
Work was work. Tomorrow after work I am hanging out with another local girlfriend of mine. She is having someone do some kind of prepaid legal presentation thing at her crib. I told her off top that I ain't signing nothing, but it would be cool to get the kids together cuz it's been too long since they have seen one another. So no, it's not going out getting my eagle on at some club, but at least I'll be out the house and around grown folks.
11 comments:
OMG! as a non-mother let me say the poo was too much. but the rest-- esp. the broccoli was HILARIOUS! love it.
Yah know Jameil...I was gonna leave that part out, but it was one of the biggest "who is this child moments" from yesterday. She can't stand to clean her behind. Who does??? She will actually throw on a broadway show when she got to actually wipe in the crack of her behind!
This is a life long lesson that I as a parent must install in her while she is still allowing me in the bathroom! LOL, I know grown men that don't wipe their tails properly! But that's another subject in itself! ROFL
Omg!!! That's fucking amazing!! (I'm going through potty training hassels right now, too. He goes to the potty at school, but won't go at home. He pees on himself as soon as he possibly can. He refuses to sit on the pot at home, nor his potty chair, so we are just waiting for something to give...) But yes, that's excellent!
As far as brocolli, wow. My son won't let anything that's remotely green past his little lips, unless its a gummy bear. But we dont really argue, as long as he eats, becaus ehe takes meds and he has to have something in his stomach. So if it's not broccoli or spinach, it's prolly a waffle... lol
I know you are so proud of her.
Going to the potty...eating healthy...It's just too much!
It has to be amazing to see your child grow and do t he things you would like for her to do without asking. Just to know she is growing independent and making great choices.
THIS POST MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!
it's such a wonderful thing when a child 'gets it'! you must be so proud of her! she's growing up before your eyes and it's the most beautiful thing to behold.
damn...i wish i had a little one of my own :(
that is, until i think about having to potty train 'em. LOL
Mel - that's weird. Since my recently spend time over on potty training forums, I haven't read about the child that won't go at home but will go elsewhere! Usually it's the other way around! Hmmmmmmmmm
"My son won't let anything that's remotely green past his little lips, unless its a gummy bear" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Aaron rules!
Luvin - Girl I just kept asking myself who this lil chick was! I hope I pick up the same little girl today!
4gotten - tx for stopping by again. One of these days I will stop lurking your blog! LOL I am not ready for her to be all the way independent yet! LOL
Nikki - your gonna be a absolutely wonderful mom when it's your turn!
Yeah, the potty training thing will make you tear your hair out, and to think, this is my second time doing this with the same child! Ugh!
LOLOL!
That was cute. She bent over to show you???? Awe! Thas some real special.
My mom got me signed up for that prepaid legal thing. It ain't half bad. Got me out of a ticket once.
Southern - I do the every other night plus Sunday and Monday because that's what she needs right now *IMO*. She takes a bird bath (wash up in the sink) every morning. Now if she'd been out and about and she needs one, I'll run the bath not matter what night it is. It's just at this moment it doesn't seem like I need to do it every night, that's all. I know that will change soon cuz the older she gets, the more grown folk smells she aquires! LOL Don't worry, I don't think that was rude or anything. It was a good question. :-D
Nay - I still ain't signing up! LOL
ROFLMBAO!!! your baby is tooooooooo cute..."tree brocolli" and i feel you on the poo...that was monumental!!! i HOPE you did the butterfly, the running man, the roger rabbit or something!
who wouldn't want her as a daughter..."kids say the darnest things"
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