Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Still here

Life is still life. I am ready to start working for a different company. I am home recovering from the stomach flu. I weighed in yesterday at 328. That is 8 pounds more than when I blogged on July 27th, two days after my birthday. In the grand scheme of things, I call that "maintenance" a success!

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

out of the funk

What has been up with me? Hmmmm

Pooka started high school this year. Yep, you are old! When I look at her I see a young woman and it scares me. I can only pray she ends up as a decent contribution to society.

Mom has been dealing with her medical issues. As a caregiver, it get's tough to deal with at times, but she is my mother and I will pull my big girl panties up and deal with it.

My weight got down to 316. Today I weighed myself at 331. Menstrual stuff, lots of junk food and alcohol from stress and a touch of depression, less than a gallon of water everyday and not spending time with ShaunT like I used to is starting to feel a bit snug in the same clothes I was soo excited to be back into comfortably. No likey.

Since my birthday in late July, I felt like I been forcing myself on people. So I stopped. Nobody cared. That kinda sucked. I thought about getting back into the dating world just to meet new people and to feel wanted, but I don't feel like sorting through all the garbage right now.

My last relationship ended several years ago. At some point I will have to force myself into getting back out there or die as a lonely caregiver to the world.

In 10 days I will be on a plane to Connecticut for a wedding of one of my homies. She has been dating this guy for as long as I've known her. I am happy for her. As bad as it sounds, I wanted to look super smaller and spectacular for the wedding, I won't be able to lose too much this week so it is what it is. My friends that will be there loved me at my ultimate heaviest, so that is not the issue. I just had it planned in my head to WOW them. Kinda sad that I sabotaged that idea all by myself. I am being honest.

This Saturday night, a bunch of folks I went to high school with are having a low key reunion. According to the folks on FB that checked themselves as "going", there are a lot of people I would love to see again and catch up face to face with. I could do a quick run up there and stay at my grandmothers for free...but the large majority of me would rather stay in NC. We will see how I feel on Saturday morning.

I don't like my main job anymore. My coworker told me the other day that every time she sees me come in, she wonders if I am going to make my announcement about leaving.  This job grates on my moral and ethical nerves and I no longer have respect for my supervisor. Him walking in the room and saying good morning makes me want to punch him in the face! Seriously. I want to make it a complete 3 years at this spot so I can secure one of my school loans into becoming a grant. I am basically paying back my loan through service by serving a rural area where most providers don't choose to go. Everyone wants to work in Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill. Nobody wants to work in east bumblefunk, LOL! I just made that city up. I swear, if I had the funds, I would start a pro bono clinic that accepted gifts if you felt compelled to give.

The insurance system as a whole disgusts me, but that is a soapbox speech all by itself.

Aless.ia Ca.ra's He.re is my current JAM!!!!!

This post is me publicly stating and placing in writing that I am officially getting out of this funk I've been in.

Back to health, back to hustle, back to self focus, back to real happiness.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Birthday weight and random stuff

I don't know how to start this, LOL!

Work is work. My last day with the 103 year old was yesterday. I will miss the easy money. I will not miss being there every weekend. The nice scale that I took my official weigh ins on was in that building, so I guess I need to find another "official" scale and weigh in day.

Here is the last reading from my, now ex, official scale I took yesterday morning:

I litteraly just figured out how I can save my pics properly. That a s p x whatever crap was blowing me! LOL! Anywho...

442-320 = 122 pounds lost!!!!!!!

With that being said I must mention that my birthday was Saturday and I gave myself permission to have whatever I wanted all weekend. I won't even lie. I had ALOT of alcohol and alcohol has insane calories...so does brownies, ice cream, cake, cookies, chips, etc... I weighed myself today at the main job and I think my birthday "turn up" weekend caught up with me today, so I am no longer 320. It's all good though. I planned this. I enjoyed my birthday and in the end, that's what matters. We are  back to our regularly scheduled program now :)

I also got my first Brazilian wax for my birthday! It was either going to be that or a tattoo. Something memorable. I won't lie and say the wax was a piece of cake as far as comfort levels, but I will say the results are wonderful and I am going back next month! 

Life is good. I like where I am in life right now! Let's hope this continues for awhile! 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Europe, changes, and wt. stuff


OMG!!!!!! Paris is a nice place to visit. We spend waaaaay too much time at the Eiffel Tower. London is a nice place to live! I caught up to one of my oldest childhood friends that lives in London. I finally met her husband and 3 kids! She has been there for 7 years and has developed a British accent. I love it! The best moment was hearing her oldest (5 yrs old) sing "Peanut butter jelly time" with an accent! I laughed for 5 minutes straight. My laughter encouraged him to sing it even more and perform with it! I miss them already. I will be going back to London in the future!

I wanted to show a pic of me sitting in a plane seat, seat belt fastened, no extender...but the pic will only save as "aspx" vs jpeg or something blogger likes. I been playing around with it, but can't seem to figure it out :(


I resigned from 2 of my side hustles. I woke up one day and just knew that I had to let those positions go. It was hard for me, but it was necessary. So right now, I have the main spot, the local spot (which I told that I won't be available the entire month of July), and the private spot. The local spot got brought out by a new company, so I had to resubmit paperwork yesterday to be "hired" by the new company. While there, the head rehab manager mentioned that they will be expanding there rehab department and will need some more full time PTs in the future. This makes me happy! If a local rehab spot gives me an offer, chances are super high that I will take it! This 70+ mile per weekday commute is getting old.

I have also decided to become more focused on self. Self love, self health, self happiness. So far I am in love with it!

Weight stuff:

I see that my post, about a month ago, was about me breaking my plateau at 331. The last time I weighed myself I was 332. I am okay with that. My body is still big, but I am definitely more toned, have more energy, and I am happy. Dramatic weight loss is a HUGE mental game and if you focus soo much on the number on the scale, you will drive yourself crazy! So I won't be weighing myself as much as I have been in the past and just paying more attention to how my body feels. Just being able to feel muscle definition and bones that I haven't felt in awhile is beyond exciting!!!!!

I do not want to be a vegetarian, however, I have adopted a more vegetarian/almost vegan diet this past week and it's been pretty darn remarkable! On Friday, I did have cheese curds and two pieces of pie after a week pretty much of fruits and veggies and they really sat on my stomach in bad way! :( So I am at a phase in my life where simple sugars, meat and animal by products will be decreased significantly, NOT completely. Everything is about a healthy balance.

That's all I got! TTYL

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Official weigh in and stuff

I am exhausted. Working and these menstrual cramps had me wanting to stay in bed ALL DAY. But I did what I had to do, came home, took a 4 hour nap, and about to see how much I can give ShaunT before going to bed.

Anywho, today I weighed in at:

That is 442-331 = 111 pounds lost!

Yep, plateau is broken! After my cycle I tend to have a nice reduction of water weight, so I will definitely be in the 320's while in Europe next week! I can't believe Pooka and I will be on a plane Friday night! OMGOMGOMGOMG! Too excited!!!!

Till next time!

Tuesday, June 09, 2015


Quick and dirty. Here we go!

Pooka and I are going to Europe next Friday! I am super excited!

Pooka is now a high school freshman. She was in daycare when I started my blog. *SMH*

I finished my modified In.sani.ty program. I can definitely say that I feel a lot toner in my arms and thighs. I may start another round when I return from vacation.

I have been at my first PT job for almost 2 years! Feels like I took the boards last month.

As of about 5pm this evening, my non official weigh in day weight is 336 which is an 106 pound loss so far. I reached a plateau for basically the entire month of May. I knew I would hit one at some point, and know that I will again in the future. So I am not tripping. I have finally broken this plane and the pounds are steady dropping again :)

When I reach the 200 pound loss mark. I think that I want to go indoor skydiving. The only spot that does it is only an hour and change away.

Until next time....

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Off wagon week :(

I went out of town last weekend. Had a great time! I almost don't need a seat belt extender on the plane! AHHHHHH Anywho, I ate ALOT and drunk ALOT of adult beverages.

Got home from the beautiful state of Florida and many little celebrations went on throughout the week. I ate ALOT and drunk some.

PMS cravings hit me. I didn't control it. I was and still am fully aware of my poor choices...cookies, chips, chocolate wine (the whole daggone bottle)...*sigh*

ShaunT and I haven't been having our secret late night meetings much this week. I saw him 3 times since last Friday.

Been to TaeKwonDo once this week.

Went to see my friend near the coast for another celebration today. I ate too much.

Needless to say, I've gained....

April 25th I was 339, now I am 349. That is 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I have forgiven myself for falling off for soo many days in one week. I enjoyed all the junk and alcohol I consumed. I don't regret having what and how much I wanted

My face is breaking out badly again.

My body didn't respond well to my choices lately, so I am going to try my hand at clean eating until my Europe trip. My system needs a good inside to outside reset. Went to Sam's and brought my stuff.

I am excited to see my face clear up again, and get the slug feeling back out of me.