Thursday, November 06, 2014

All about that weight, 'bout that weight, no treble

Weight is a very sensitive subject, especially with women. However, I must share some private things and get things out there. Since not too many people read my blog, I figure I can drop info here...

*deep breath* Here we go.....

In January of 2010, when I started PT school, I toggled around the line of 400 pounds. It was the highest I'd ever been in life.

Right before I gave birth to Pooka, I was about 360 pounds. I was about 290 before I got pregnant. Yep! Gained 70 pounds!

I managed to get down to about 312 around the time I broke up with Pooka's dad, I was hitting the trails faithfully, and couldn't afford to really eat much of anything (another blog in and of itself), but I gained it all back, plus some, when I was done mourning the relationship and my financial status improved.

When I graduated high school I was between 250-260. I remember when I was dating Pooka's father I specifically told him, "If I ever got up to 300, slap me!" I was pregnant when that happened so he didn't follow through, LOL! (Not that he would have if I wasn't, he isn't the violent type)

My highest weight to date on July 19th 2014 is below *sigh*

"Gross" is right!!!! This number depressed me for awhile, but I STILL didn't have the kick in the butt I needed to get my life right :(

September 2, 2014. The day I already blogged about. I weighed in at 433.3 pounds!
ANYWAYSSSSSSSS.....I have been getting my weight and pressure right since September 2nd using the old fashion eat right and exercise method. (I know, super slow and boring) I have also been keeping a food log which I knew from past experiences worked for me.

So let's fast forward to today. At my main PT job, the scales go up to 400 pounds. So I could never weight myself at that gig. I have been doing well since September and today when I walked past the room with a scale, I said to myself..."Oh F it, see what happens." I saw this.....



OMG!!!!! Did numbers actually show up on the scale at work? Am I really under 400 pounds? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am sooooo excited!!!!!!!

Yes, I realize I have a long way to go, but this is so encouraging to my soul! That is 37.8 pounds down from my highest weight ever! It may not seem like a lot, but seeing those numbers mean the world to me. It's like I am a human, not a piece of freight material that requires a special scale to be weighed!

Today is a good day! I knew this time would be different. I could feel it! Down in my gut I know that I will go all the way. I will not share what my long term goal weight is right now. Just know that it's gonna take me awhile to get there!

This is it! No more yo yo'ing! No more 400+ pounds.....ever.....EVER again! I have officially dropped out of the 4 dollar club for good! I am claiming that! Amen!

I just had to get that out my system, and I am not sharing numbers on FB nor telling the people around me where I started or how much I have lost until I reach a certain number :)

I can't wait until the day I can post up my transformation video! *cheese*

Now back to your regularly scheduled program!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Tuesday, September 2nd

I picked up yet another side hustle. This time at a facility in Raleigh not too far from my place (Hallelujah). The only thing I had left to do was get my drug test and employment physical. No problem! They scheduled me up at a local urgent care on 9/2.

I went. I urinated in the cup. I read some letters on the wall. I raised my hand when I heard the beep. I showed them some physical movements. Then I got my pressure taken....

181/118

That was not a typo! WTH? I have always been a large person, but I prided myself on having good medical numbers. Just to make sure, I asked to chill out for a few and have them take it again. They obliged...

160/110 *insert mental curse words*

The very nice P.A. recommended that I see a M.D. for a medication prescription. I politely smiled and nodded while in the back of my mind I already knew that I was not going to take a blood pressure pill. That moment was also my "wake up call". You know when you watch people with dramatic weight loss stories/transformations the person usually mentions the wake up call that kick started their journey? Yeah, sitting on that treatment table staring at the numbers was mine.

I have tried almost every weight loss method/program around and the only one that really worked for me was keeping a food log. Many moons ago I had signed up for My Fitness Pal, but I was too lazy to start actually using it. Right now, the app is one of my best friends. That friend that knows about all about your measurements and weight! LOL!

I also started Tae Kwon Do with Pooka. It is harder than it looks! That's all I will say about that, LOL!

As of this past Sunday, I am down 21 pounds and my blood pressure is back to "normal" on a consistent basis! I am taking baby steps because I want this to be the last time I ever see my current weight or hypertension level blood pressures ever again! For some odd reason, I have this gut feeling that this time is gonna be the real deal, long term, healthy living lifestyle transformation! Coming from someone that has started a million and three diets in her lifetime, this time it just feels different!

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

For real this time

Shout out to the folks that hit my blog up a couple days ago! That was a pleasant surprise. I thought I'd get a comment by the end of the month from a spammer or something, LOL!

I really do plan on getting back to blogging more often. I miss using this tool as an outlet.

So what's been up?

Yesterday I went to get an employment physical. Of course they told me I was morbidly obese and needed to lose weight. You don't need a degree to figure that out. But one thing that came from that physical scared me horribly....

My blood pressure.

Right now, at the levels I am running. I can have a heart attack, stroke, you name it! I am not symptomatic but Hypertension is nothing to play with. I strongly prefer not to take meds, so now I have to act right to live! This isn't just for looking good anymore...this is for my life! I am taking this seriously even more so than I have in the past.

I have started to take Taekwondo along with Pooka. She is a 2nd degree black belt now. After taking one class full of basics, I told Pooka that I had so much respect for her craft now. I liked to have passed out from the easy stuff!!!!! LOL!

I hope and pray that I can get on and stay on the road to health!

Monday, September 01, 2014

You know how I do

You know how I do, post something, then disappear for awhile. LOL! I am on FB everyday though. I am a facebook addict. I can admit that. What's funny to me is that now that my life is pretty busy on a pretty constant basis, many people are guessing and assuming about what's going on in my non existent life based on my fb posts. Little do people know, I only post about 1/4th of my personal life on there...like the fact I got TWO tickets within five minutes of each other for allegedly running stop signs! I am still irritated about that non sense!

Anywho, mom is good. Pooka is good. Pooka turned 13 on Wednesday. I have a teenager! It doesn't feel like that much time has passed, but it has. She is soo beautiful, smart, and talented! Yes, I am biased. Sue me.

I didn't read my last entry. But I pretty much work everyday. That is my life right now. My social life is pretty non existent, but I am trying to honestly work on it. At the moment I have 1 full time PT gig, 2 as needed PT gigs, 1 part time private PT gig every 3 weeks, and 1 part time companion/sitter gig...so yeah, I am never home. I don't want my social life to suffer like it has this year, but with higher bills and this 6 figure student loan to keep under control, I have to hustle hard...or hit the lottery...or find an extremely wealthy sugar daddy, LOL!

But as I stroll into September, I kinda like some of the changes I have made. Being busy allowed me the chance to stop gossiping all the time. I wasn't trying to be a gossiper, but I always found myself talking about and asking about what was going on with people that were not in the room. I had to check myself quick. I made a conscience choice not to have full blown conversations about people that were not a part of the conversation. So outside of the, how are your kids, momma, husband, wife, pets deal. I kept my lips kinda tight. I still have a ways to go with the gossiping, but I have come a long way this year. I am proud of myself.

I am growing a container garden. So far, so good! Right now I have 10 containers and I am growing lettuce, spinach, cantaloupe, and tomatoes. If I manage to harvest at least ONE thing that is edible, I will call my efforts successful! LOL! Don't judge me! It rained ALOT recently and some of my plants suffered for it, but I hope with a few consecutive warm and rain free days, my plant children will dry out and get back on track.

That was all over the place, but whatever. This is my blog and I can journal how I please, LOL!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

So much to say, so little time

Hello! Here is my annual blog post, LOL! It has been sooo long since I've blogged, I forgot my password and had to reset it!

Let's see...what's been up? Hmmmmmmm

Well, my mother, Pooka and I moved out of my apartment and into a house at the end of last month. Kinda exciting! I was in that apartment for 10 years and there are soo many memories in that place. When I locked the door for the final time I got kind of emotional. The person I was that moved in was definitely not the same person that moved out! We are not renting a nice home not too far from the old apartment. Both Pooka and I love her school and neither of us wanted her to go elsewhere. I was initially looking to purchase a home in this area because I like the area and plan to be here a long time, but my debt to income ratio was out of control so I could only afford to buy a house on the other side of town. No, thank you. It has been 2 weeks in the new house and so far everything is going well. The thing I enjoy most is having my own room back. Everyone now has there own space to decompress. Love it!

Mom is great. Nothing new to report there.

Pooka is good. She caught a bad stomach virus, got better, then came down with Bells Palsy. Basically it is an inflammation that affects the facial nerve on one side of her face. So visually she looks like she had a stroke...but she didn't. It goes away with time so everything is all good. She was initially self conscience about it, but now she is milking it for sympathy and attention, LOL!

Me? Well I am here. I work 7 days a week and have 3 employers. My full time is a therapist gig. I work "as needed" for another company doing therapy stuff and I am also a sitter/helper for a 102 year old lady for a couple of hours on Saturday and Sunday. I'm laughing at myself because when I was in school I told myself I would only have 1 job once I got my license. *sigh* Student loans and a larger rent payment per month said differently, LOL! More money, more problems.

I still bleed...a lot...it affects my non existent love life. My face is all bumpy and junk food has been my go to for pleasure. TMI, I know.

Awhile ago I was in a car accident. It was my fault. The sun was glaring and I hit the back driver side door of this lady. I was going about 10-15mph so the damage wasn't spectacular. I am thankful for that.

I brought a lawn mover today. I got one of those old school reel mowers. I went in the store to buy this super duper, fancy smancy mower and I was actually down sold! He basically told me that for the size yard I have (small) the cheaper reeled one was a better fit for me. *shrug*

I was growing tomatoes and kale. The tomatoes didn't last long because of the bipolar weather and my kale was going strong until the move. I didn't tell anyone I loaded them in my cooler so everything got knocked around and messed up during the move. I tried to save my kale, but failed. Hey, that rhymed! I will try again really soon.

During the move I also gave my mother my bed. Mainly because I want a new bed and because if anyone had to sleep on the floor here in the new place, I'd rather it be me than my mother. I was going to go for a fancy smancy tempur.pedic bed, but today I found a really nice complete set (head/foot boards, frame, spring and mattress) for about the same price and it felt soo good to lay on. So hopefully my camping out on the floor days will be over when I get paid again :)

That's about it. I actually miss blogging and hope to get back to doing it fairly regularly. We shall see!

TTFN!






Thursday, March 06, 2014

Hola!

I didn't look to see what I typed about the last time I actually blogged nor did I look at the date, LOL! Now that I have already started this entry I don't feel like going back to see! Lazy? Yep! Care? Nope! LOL!


What's been up?


Me: I'm good. Still working at the skilled nursing facility. Been there since June 24th. So far, so good. My coworkers are laid back and easy to get along with. I also picked up a few "as needed" weekend PT jobs and 1 companion job. The companion job is basically sitting and talking to an 102 year old woman for 2 hours on Saturday and 2 hours on Sunday. Easiest money I've ever made. Right now the facility she is in is under quarantine due to a virus. So this weekend I have to call her every half hour of my regular shift. So, for example...on Saturday I work from 6:30 to 8:30, so I will call her at 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8 and 8:30 just to say goodnight. Could it get any easier? LOL!


My lease for my current place is up at the end of April. I can't believe that I moved in on May 1, 2004! Where has the time gone? Unfortunately, the apartment I rent is income based and even with my mother coming to live with me, I still make too much to stay where I am. I don't like the process of moving, but I am excited about the house that my family and I will most likely move into. I thought about buying a home, but my debt to income ratio is toooo high thanks to my education loans that I have to wait a bit before I look into home ownership. That is fine with me. I am in no rush to buy a house.


Speaking of my place...how about someone stole the rent payments out of my landlord's dropbox? Guess who's rent payment was in the box at the time? *sigh* Fortunately, the company I pay has insurance and everything was pretty much taking care of after I submitted all my documentation proving I was one of the tenants harmed.


Mom: She is good. Nothing to much to say about her really.


Pooka: She is good as well. Still doing the same ole thing. Her grades this year are up and down. We are working on it. She is really focused on her art as of late and she is really producing some great work (if I do say so myself) so much that if I finally man up and get a tattoo, I would let her design it! Her latest phase is dragons and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


Well gotta go take Pooka to her 8pm demo team practice.....*sigh* I want to go home! LOL

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Playing Catch Up

It has been forever! After I write this I will try to catch up with whomever is still blogging :)

What's been going on in my little slice of the universe?

Mom:
Mom is still living with me. She is good. Took her to see Frankie Beverly this past weekend. We both had a good time.

Pooka:
Pooka is doing well as well. She has earned her black belt in Tae Kwon Do and loves it. She has brought up her grades TREMENDOUSLY this year. I swear, at the end of last year I was honestly praying that she would make it to the 7th grade. The transition to middle school hit her hard, but it looks like she is bouncing back with a vengeance! I am so proud of my kid...when I don't want to choke her! LOL She is in that odd pre teen stage where she wants to be a little girl and also wants to be a teenager. It really all depends on the crowd she is aroud, LOL! These years are tough and I hope she finds herself and where she is comfortable soon. While I am thinking about it...why don't preteens use deodorant without prompting???? I feel like if I don't tell her to apply some before she heads out to the bus stop...IT WON'T HAPPEN! smh

Pooka's Dad and Step Mom:
They still live nearby and they do what they can. I finally decided to friend his main chick (they have an open relationship so I must define which lady I am referring to) on FB and every now and again it annoys me when she posts on my wall or makes comments to things I have said. I am still learning to "share" Pooka. She honestly loves  Pooka dearly and if it wasn't for her helping Pooka's dad, he wouldn't be able to do the little financial things that he does manage to do for her sometimes. This is not a bash by any means. I just get protective over my child. Again, I am still learning to share even after all of these years.

Love Life:
I am still friends with my ex. We do things sometimes. LOL!

Work Life:
I love and am in love with my career! Not so in love with the employer. They have some things in active practice that goes against my ethical beliefs. I am keeping my eyes open and throwing my application and resume different places. Until someone else picks me up I will be the best PT I can be and do my best to cover my behind as best as possible.

Personal Life:
Since my employment is more lucrative I have been able to go to and purchase tickets to most of the shows I would like to attend. Like I mentioned earlier I took my mom to see Frankie Beverly. On Oct 19th I am taking my mom to a homecoming concert featuring a lot of old school rap/hip hop artists and BBD. I am excited about that! I got some other shows down the pike as well but I think that is all for October! :)

I have also been kinda down lately. Not for any particular reason. I kept telling people that the only way that I know that I am down is that my house consistently is a mess, I am always tired, I don't sleep well, and I am gaining weight. My already heavy set behind is GAINING weight. I swear to God if I gain anymore I will start looking into the surgery....AND I HATE SURGERIES! I have started back walking and this weekend I hope to start swimming again. On Friday I am going to start taking a wellness class at Pooka's TKD school. I have to do better. I must do better.

This December one of the girls that started PT school with me but had to take some time off due to having a child is graduating. Me and my friends are going to support her on her big day. It has been a year since we have all been together (can't believe it's almost been a year since I got my hood) and as much as they love me regardless of what I look like...I can't let them see me like this. I look in the mirror and post live, unfiltered photos of myself on social media just as a way to force myself to look at me and find something positive. Okay enough of that....

This coming March my maternal grandmother wants all of her kids and grandkids to go to the Bahamas. In 2007 we all went to Jamaica and had the time of our lives! So she wants to relive that vacation for her 70th birthday in April. I am already saving my money! This is yet another reason I need to shed these pounds!

I have 4 mins left on the computer at the library so I will say....I don't have a laptop but I am working on that...I do have a smartphone that is decent. I pretty much had no choice but to upgrade from my slide phone with keyboard (long story) and in August I got cable! :)

I am moving on up! LOL

TTYL