2008

Provided I am still living and with my health in order, 2008 will be my year. It will be the year I leave my current job that I am losing interest in daily. It will be the year I earn my undergrad degree. It will be the year I start graduate school. I will basically be the year of transitions to get where I would like to be. It seems so far away but I won't let that get to me, 2006 is more than halfway over so I don't have too long.

I submitted my final yesterday. We were supposed to slide them under the door of our classroom b4 noon and she was going to come pick them up at 12 then roll out. When I got there about 9, the doors in the hallway leading to the classroom were locked! I went up to the receptionist office and told her what was going on and she said she'd put my final in Dr. Crucial's mailbox, after I watched her date stamp and sign my eight page typed final I went on bout my business. When I got back to work I left a message on Dr. Crucials voicemail telling her that my test was in her mailbox vs. under the door because the hallway doors were locked and to call me to let me know she got my exam. I didn't put 100% in my final, but I did put too much work into it for me to get a zero! LOL

Being impatient about my grades, I called the receptionist a tad after 12 to see if Dr. Crucial checked her mailbox. It just so happened that Dr. C was in the office right then. Dr. C asked to speak with me and for the next 5 minutes she was giving me a lot of encouragement, which she always have outside of the classroom. After she was done talking she told me not to tell anyone she was saying stuff like that cuz it would ruin her rep. We both got a chuckle out of it. One thing she told me that wasn't so positive was that I have to have more confidence in my abilities and myself. She said that I walk with my head down and when I spoke in class I didn't have faith in what I said even though what I was saying was correct. I never thought I walked with my head down, but I'll chalk that up to her not seeing me on one of my cute days when I think I am alla dat and then some. Most of the time when I spoke or answered a question in class, I wasn't sure if I was right, so I didn't really have faith in my words. But nonetheless, I will try to change that. Nobody wants an physical therapist that is unsure or unconfident!
Yesterday I got paid and saw my little increase. I don't make much so the increase wasn't much, but the numbers looked better than last month so I won't complain! I will be spending my increase on getting my car inspected and reregister. While on the way to submit my final yesterday morning I got stopped by the police. He let me off with a warning ticket which basically means if I don't get my ish together in the next 2 or 3 weeks and return this postcard stamped by the DMV, I will receive a real ticket and have to go to court and pay court costs and all that good stuff.

I went back to work and was asking co-workers if they knew an inspector that was decently priced. Slim Shady did (thank goodness). Then she got all mushy and was telling me how good a friend I was, how I don't go telling all her business and how I can come to her and ask her for anything...stuff like that. Now don't get me wrong. Slim Shady is okay with me, but truth be told she is a shady chick. You can't really put 100% trust into what she says. When she told me I could ask her for anything I wanted to remind her that she told me in true black girl neck swinging fashion "not to ask her for shit ever again in life" because she asked me for something that I didn't have. This was about 2 years or so ago when she said it and I have not asked her for anything since that day. I did ask her if she knew an inspector, it just so happened she came into the room when I was telling my coworkers about my police run in. I doubt she'd remember telling me that, she is/was (she quit yesterday...supposedly...for the hundredth time since I've known her)a heavy tree lover so I doubt she remembers.

Of course we ended up in another therapy session with her telling me more about what's going on in her life and in my mind I was thing that she is telling me the same stuff she used to tell me except some of the names and places changed. Some people live their lives in cycles. Wanting to make a change, yet still living in that same cycle doing things we know we don't have no business. That what got me thinking about myself. Am I like her? Am I living in a cycle but unaware of it? No, I don't think I am in some ways because I am striving for a goal and with my life the way it is, it's gonna take a minute to reach it, like getting my degree, working in my chosen career path, obtaining a mortgage, stuff like that. I am working on it and I am closer to my goals than I was a year ago, so I am good.

Completely off subject, while at the grocery store I saw something that broke my heart and angered me at the same time. This older white man who looked to be about in his late 70's maybe even in the 80's was being hit by his 3 or 4 year old grand or great grandson. I really don't know the relation but that's my guess. Anyways, the grandfather was telling the boy it was time to go and the boy kept yelling no. Then the boy grabbed the short statured man with a hump in his backs shirt like he was bout to jack the man up, hit him in the stomach with his tiny fist, pushed him away, then ran back inside the store! The elderly man just started creeping back into the store. There was no way he was going to be able to catch him. He was barely walking right himself! I couldn't believe what I just seen! So much disrespect! I wanted to go after the boy, jack him up and help the grandfather get the boy st8, but I didn't do anything. I feel kinda bad for not doing anything. I got selfish by thinking what would people think of a big black woman putting her hands on a small white child in a non loving way and left. It really just hurt my feelings to see that little boy acting a fool with the older man. I really should have did something. But it's too late now......