Thursday, August 18, 2005

Can it be Friday? Please?????

I really did not want to get out of bed this morning! When I woke up I spent a good 20 minutes looking at the ceiling. Mentally I was having one of those I should call in sick type debates. Alas, since I am blogging that means I came on in to work. My laptop is still out of order so I have to do all my stuff here.

Nothing much happened yesterday. I came home from work and hopped on my DDR for awhile, watched a little TV, gave Pooka a bath, then got ready for my photo shoot of sorts. This proved to be quite interesting because I don't like 95% of the pictures that I see of myself. I don't think I am unattractive, I just don't like the way I look. If that makes any sense. So anyway when the memory card was filled up I reviewed the pics and there where actually pics that I was looking at and thought "WOW Is that me?" then of course there were some that I was like "Ugh is ALL THAT me?"

I kinda wish I knew how the people see me physically. When I looked at the pictures last night. Some looked like the chick I look at in the mirror everyday. Others did not. But all the pictures where taken in the same session. When people give me a compliment I don't know how to take it because I don't see what they see with the exception of my smile. I love my smile. But anyway...I don't see what other people see when they look at me on a physical level. For example, Most men that deal with me on a physical level comment on my butt, including my friend last night. Last night after my company left I stood in the mirror and just looked at my butt. I don't see it! Since more than one person has mentioned my butt I would just assume I have a nice butt. LOL Who knows.

My mind wants to go futher into how I view myself but I already know it would not end nicely and outside of me being tired I am feeling pretty good and I don't want to spoil it.

Oh I am also debating on letting K-digga stay with me until I leave to go get my mom Labor Day weekend. Her man/ex man left me another message last night. I swear I didn't hear the phone ring. But he left me a message asking if she can stay with me until he gets "them" situated. K-digga and I already talked about her watching Pooka at my house while I go to class (OMG SCHOOL STARTS NEXT WEEK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I am excited) but the understood agreement was that I take her home afterwards. I don't know how I feel about her being in my house when I am not there. I don't have much reason not to trust her, but I just feel funny about it. I have been toggling the issue back and forth and told myself I would sleep on it. I have slept and I still have not made a decision. I feel bad for the situation she is in but then again I don't because it's her fault she is where she is and wants everyone else to get her out of it. I want to help her as a friend but I don't want her to get comfortable. The last thing I need is to go female dog on her because she won't leave my place.

I just don't know....

2 comments:

The Foxybrown Show said...

Sitting at my desk Rolling my eyes at you being so excited about school YUK!

I wish today was Friday also!

Wondering what your "American Dream" is?
Care to share
Holla on the Show!

Teezie said...

All I have to say if you ready for someone to move out and they don't.

Sounds like roadtrip to me! Hittin up a town near you! LOL