9/15

Too tired to think of a title....

Yesterday was beautiful. Outside of Ophelia's rain and wind, my grandmother had a highly spirited and quite beautiful service. I thought that I would make it through the service without a tear till one of my first cousins sung a song...who knew the boy could sing like that? I don't think anyone had a dry eye. The tears couldn't stop falling after we walked out to view the body. My dad fell to his knees and cried out. This started a chain reaction and it got emotional for a moment. I wasn't crying because she is gone, I was crying because seeing my dad like that hurt my heart. You can tell he wasn't acting just to show out. It was just too real.

It hurts my heart more to know that I will probably never see my dad again. After my grandfather (his dad) died several years ago, he rarely came to NC. I think I have seen my dad four times since my grandfather passed, this includes last week and yesterday. The only reason he would come down was if something was really wrong with my grandmother. So now that she has passed, he has no reason to come down. Even tho' I don't fool with my dad like that, the idea really sucks. I know I could go to where he is but I don't see that happening.

I have to go, will add later.....

Later has come for 15 mins! LOL

Chelle? Black house Chelle? EBZ Chelle? Hi!!!!! Neena made comment the other day, I think yall brought spammers with yall! *wave* (if you not EBZ Chelle please igg this comment)

I have written my dad off. I have tried on several occasions to do the father/daughter thing and they failed miserably. I love and respect my dad because he is my sperm donor, but that is about it. He actually had the nerve to attempt to take credit for the good things about my life. While at my grandmothers house he was telling some guys that I am kin to but still don't know how I had my own place, own car and how I work for the gov't, go to school, blah blah blah, which was fine until he said "I did good". WHAT????!!!!??? He hasn't done anything to contribute to my pre teen/teen/adult life and what I have made to it thus far! I just left the room. The nerve. Yet it still is sad to know I most likely won't see him in person unless I go to him. Next......

My laptop is fixed! *insert happy dance* Lookalike swears that I will never come see him again since I don't need his computer to do my homework, I'll just have to prove him wrong. This is a good place where I could start venting about men and lying but no need to go there, plus I don't have the time. I am STILL training this chick and she is taking a short lunch so I don't have much time. I miss my computer. Watching someone munipulate my office sucks. I think I will have this be her last day. I dictate when she is ready to go on her own. I just don't want to put her by herself when she is not ready. I am still learning that some people learn slower than others. It's not a reflection of their intellect, it's just that take longer for the light bulb to come on or that everyone doesn't use words with more than 3 syllables. As a trainer I must remember to keep things very simple and not assume. I have been training for a couple of years and you would think I wouldn't have to remind myself of these things.

Lata.....