whatever.....

This morning I still don't feel much better than I did last night. It always takes ONE thing to get me on a negative roller coaster.

Last night I had a run in with a power tripping and down right rude cop. Long story very short. I got another institution wanting money from me now for my car problems that I have been trying to fix for a long time aka expired inspection sticker. The problem would have been solved on the 17th. I was gonna get my new mechanic to fix the issue, so I could do what I needed to do.....but alas the cops got to me first. Oh well.

At one time in my life I was comfortable. To where all my bills where paid and I even had a lil sumtin' to play with when it was over.......then came to where I was just paying my bills.......now I am back in the check to check mode and my non essential bills like this new pretty pink ticket are starting to put me in the red. I don't like this, not one bit! I strongly believe I am gonna take on a part time job soon. Just long enough to get me back where I need to be. Anyways.....

I did get the message that I need to leave T-Lo alone. Despite the long breaks inbetween us seeing one another, the last 3 times where not positive in the end for me. The third to last time I went over there. I got a warning ticket. Mind you.....the car was PARKED.....facing the shrubery and with tall bushes on the driverside.....at the end of the lot in the cut, which isn't suspect cuz there where plenty other cars in the lot....and I had not been in the car for a good while. This means that this cop for some odd reason saw my car and for some reason of all things look at my inspection sticker which means he had to get out the car and look at it. Okay whatever, it's just a warning. I am already in the process of getting my stuff taking care of so I don't think to much of it. Whatever...

The second to last time all Imma say is stuff wasn't right. I am got there and I just couldn't stay, the surroundings strongly suggested that I leave. Call it intuition or whatever. The fact that dude was pretty much passed out didn't help either. Whatever.....

Last night (yeah I went since it was my last evening in his part of town till school starts up next year) I go over there. After lab I called him up to make sure plans where still a go. He confirms. I get there *takes bout 10 mins from campus* and no one answers the door. Mind you it's cold as a mugg. I knock and knock then I decided to call the cell.....no answer....I go through the whole knock and call routine about 3 times and finally I leave a message stating that I am rolling out. I could hear my ringtone ringing in his apartment when I called and I know he don't go nowhere without his cell so that was just plain odd. So after I leave his place I meet the cop......blah blah blah. So I got the message not to take my fast tail over there no mo', I was warned though, I just wasn't paying attention to it.....my bad. Whatever......

So I finish my lovely interaction with the cop and I am just out of sorts. My usual fix was to go up to LAL's job, chill on the couch, bury myself in his chest and have him rub all the stress away. But.....he wasn't at work! He is always at work! What's up with that? So I ended up riding the negative coaster of all the wrongs in my life and wondering why when I try to do something for me to pat myself on the back for a job well done....I get screwed. But whatever.....

Baby daddy and one of my good friends (aka free personal therapists) called darn near at the same time. Baby daddy called not to soon after I got home and the other bout 2 minutes later. I ended up letting BD in on the downward emotional spiral that I was caught up in at the moment. By him being experienced veteran dealing with me when I am feeling the way I was feeling, he made me smile. I don't like the fact that I pretty much told him that I don't have it all together like he thinks I do but.....I really needed to hear what he had to say. Whatever.....

I called my girlfriend who took out a loan with me and she gave me 100% of my money back her next pay period. Since I am kinda straped for green right now, my ummmm "daily reminders" will start the day before her payday. Period.

Now let me do some real work before I blog about how I lost my job.

It's a cold rainy day and I wanted so bad to take a mental health day, but I didn't