Today I have to give another speech for my speech class. On speech days we are required to dress up. Normally I just wear my jeans and teeshirt and change into my speech clothes before class. Today I decided that I'd be lazy and wear my clothes to work and I didn't even get in the door good before the compliments came in! I mean dag, I know I am dressed down most of the time but it's not that serious! One of the supervisor's keep saying that I have an interview. I wish.
Since it's kinda chilly I opted to wear my socks and sneaks until the weather warms up and I'd change to my heels that go with the outfit. I kinda wish I had the heels on already so my coworkers could get the full head to toe...they ain't ready for all that tho'!
So yeah I am feeling kinda cute! It's kinda funny. As much as I know in my heart that I am beautiful, cute, and attractive and as much as people in my surrounding confirm it. My brain still tells me that the reality is that I am this morbidly obese woman with one foot in the coffin that won't live long enough to see my grandchild be born. That I am unworthy of any kind of love except from God and that I'd never compare to anyone......and all that good stuff.....
I had an binge episode last night. Instead of rehashing, I am looking past it. Today is a new day and I just have to ingore myself sometimes. I am moving on with an absolutely fabulous smile on my face.
I miss that show....absolutely fabulous....*sigh*
10 comments:
I don't know you personally, but you have a beautiful spirit. I get that through your words. So for that you are beautiful. So what you have a few extra pounds, as long as you are working to get rid of them, you will be fine! Stay positive!
Luvin - staying positive is the part I have to work on. It's easier to be positive for other people than yourself. At least for me it works that way.
Imma be st8, I know I will. It's that every now and again my mind breaks me down to the core and I lose control. This isn't anything new.....
it's easy for us to buy into the lies that play over and over in our head...
believe me everyone has them, but it's the people that can speak truth back to those lies, and move forward in spite of their feelings that make it to the other side...whatever that is.
keep your head up and take it day by day, you'll be just fine
That's right Nay, Get cho "cute girl" on....As much as we (people in general) don't like to admit it, we look for approval from outsiders. It's easy to say "screw em" when you aren't the person they look at all crosseyed....do your thang ma, work it girl work it!!!!
People are a trip when they see an "upgrade" in a person's style for a day...I can relate.
DR&C = I hear yah preachin'! LOL
MzA = It's not really so much other people's opinion, it's more my opinion, I be killin' myself sometimes.
GQ = folk don't don't know what to do when you clean up a little bit! LOL At least they are reminded that I have to ability to rock a dress/skirt/suit/whatever and rock it well! LOL
Hmph -well alright for letting them have it with the way you're dressed.
But for real, we gotta work on the binge issue. That's why balance is sooo damn important - so there's no room for a binge to happen.
You've got to hit the "delete" botton in your mind when you start to have negative thoughts
Just remeber that energy follows thought So the more time you put into thinking about positive aspects of yourself and enviorment the more energy will expand those areas...
Jamal - I hear your and your right
Jenny - welcome to the darkside! LOL
Where did you find it? Interesting read » »
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