Bored

I really wasn't planning on blogging this weekend but I am bored out of my mind. I am supposed to have been at the beach with LadyKat and dem but I have not received my financial blessing yet so that was yet another event I was invited to but had to cancel. I would call Jennay up but I don't have the dough or gas money to do anything. Granted, I have a psyche paper to finish, dishes to wash and a floor to vacuum, but if I do that now, what will I do tomorrow? Man I need a hobby!

I was going to hit the trail this morning but the idea of all the snakes that are out and about due to the flooding this past week kept me inside. I did manage to rekindle my love affair with DDR. According to my memory card, I haven't DDR'd since MARCH! Oh my!!!! My short term mission is to lose 10 more pounds by my b-day next month. That is very realistic if I DDR everyday! 'Specially since the food in the kitchen is starting to dwindle, there should be no problem monitoring portions! As long as Pooka gets her 3 squares I can afford to miss a meal here and there. So there is a positive spin to my current situation. I just wish the end of the month would come on already!

Tomorrow will make 3 weeks. Only 3 weeks since I physically met Kuntry and I like him more than I should given the time span. I think it's a combination of my loneliness/boredom and my want for attention that is causing it. I really need to fall back before I get my little feelings hurt. There is a part of me that feels like he is still hustling. I don't deal with hustlers. I don't have any reason to think that, I just do. Or am I looking for reasons to bail? I don't know. I DO know that I am feeling him more than he is feeling me, which is another reason to fall back. I mean yesterday I called him 3 times, how many times did he call me????? Exactly! Things would be so much easier if it was like last year were I was actively dating, so when I didn't feel like being bothered with one, I'd just call another. But I don't have it like that right now....it's just Kuntry. I know if I really wanted I could call LAL and he just may come over or I could even call *shiver* Redbone and he is guaranteed to come through to spend some time and dick(if he's not in DC w/his kid for Father's Day). But I don't want to. I finally had to accept that T-Lo's not into me anymore. I haven't heard from him in God knows when so why bother, then add the fact that I deleted his number out of my cell and never took the time to memorize it so I couldn't call him if I wanted to! LOL

But nah, I really need to find a hobby to invest my bored time into. I started to invest that time in Kuntry and something keeps saying that it's too much right now. So I say again, I am falling back. He's played the cat, I've played the cat, now it's his turn again. Another thing that I have been wondering lately is why he is dealing with me? He's young, his kids are old enough to handle themselves, he has no real responsibilities, he comes and goes as he pleases, he is always at some social function......why try to get to know a chick with a toddler, who has to hold it down with no other option, only goes when theirs a sitter or it a family type function, with no real social life? Outside of a new sex partner I don't understand why someone like him would be interested in someone like me. I will continue to wonder a bit longer because I am not ready to hear the answer if I ask him. I don't want to be another piece of meat, I want the friend and companionship that comes with it. I may have ruined that by sleeping with him early on. Why do I always do that? When will I learn?

Tomorrow will make 3 weeks and I am thinking way too hard.......