I keep saying that but today was an example that I really need to get away! I get to work and it's not uncommon for folks to come to me with issues before I even get to my office. But yesterday it was like people were coming in and out like a revolving door, mostly complaining about the coworker that everyone wants to drop kick. I am starting to reach my breaking point and I tell everyone that I need some time to get it together and tell some others to ask the coworker herself why she did what she does because sometimes I can't see the logic in what she does and I don't have the answer. I am walking towards the bathroom and the coworker everyone is upset with stops me to basically ask me to tell the other coworkers she is right. I tell her I will get back to her and she keeps pressing the matter. Now being that this is a darn near everyday thing I went off. It was like the camel that broke the camels back. It was like folks were tossing a dynamite around and it just went off when it was in her hand. I really didn't raise my voice at her because it was her, I was just pent up with all this frustration everyone decided to unload on me and I unloaded all of it on her.
I made her cry. I didn't mean to, honestly! I finally made it to the restroom and when I was on my way back to my office everyone was looking at me like OH MY GOD! I didn't say anything and just kept walking with my head pointed st8 ahead and closed my door. About 10 mins go by and my office neighbor comes in and asks me if I am okay. At this point I am upset because I allowed myself to get unprofessional, part of my position is supposed to be able to settle disagreements and I do that for the most part, but they were coming back to back to back and I lost it. My coworker told me that she has NEVER heard me speak like that and she was concerned if I was really okay. I told her I was going to be I just needed time to come back down. When I got it together I called the coworker I raised my voice at and apologized. I would have done it in person but she works in a big open room and we didn't need an audience. Long story short is she didn't hear the apology. I kept doing it but in this coworkers nature it's all about her and how everyone hates her and everyone yells at her and treats her different and she is telling me things that she should be telling the supervisor. I listened to her and told her if she felt this way and that she should tell our supervisor and AGAIN that the purpose of my call was to apologize and to let her know that it wasn't about her.
"You wouldn't have done it if it was *insert administrator's name*"
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm yes I would have! I even put that on my grandfather's grave that it could have been the TOP TOP state elected DOG and it would have come out the same way with the same attitude! She wasn't hearing it and thankfully it was time for me to go to class so I cut the convo short.
I go to class and I am already lost again once I found a little enlightenment in physics, we have a test on Thurday and this cat teaches another chapter that WILL be on the test!!!! Oh yeah, there is NO TUTOR to be had right now. I just cried, literally! It was like...I don't know, it just wasn't right! How can he do that! Many of us were upset but only me and another girl had tears. I am not alone in feeling the way I did, it's just to much. I read more last night and will tonight then just have a talk with God Thursday morning.
I get back to work and apparently the chick who I raised my voice to left for the day and the rumors are flying about me cussing her out which DIDN'T HAPPEN! Anyways my supervisor comes to me and we figure out how we gonna solve this issue between my team. Today we are basically gonna have a pow wow,have everyone say what they need to say st up, pass the peace pipe and sing Kum by yah or whatever that song is. Hopefully the Lord will come by there because the issues my team has goes way beyond work and to some it's personal.
In other news, Miss Pooka and I go to Wendy's so she can get her frosty because she got 3 smiley faces on her chart and I told her the nest time she gets 3 smiley faces I would get her a frosty (I forgot I told her that, she didn't). While there a white family comes in and the little white boy comes by out table and says hi to Pooka, she says hi back and he gives her a hug and keeps going. I ask her if he goes to her school and she tells me he goes to her daycare. Now there is no problem with this, but I was just thinking to myself that my kid is a BOSS! LOL This white boy is a different boy than the one I mentioned before. Let me find out we can't no where without little boys coming to say hello to my kid! What is THAT about?