Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I can't

Today the Ladynay household had a case of the I can'ts.

As Dr. Hype introduced a new chapter I felt once again as if he was talking Arabic. I think the other 30 or so students that showed up today out of 62 felt the same. I had made the decision that I would talk to Dr. Hype and st8 out ask him if there was a chance of me surviving and passing his class. If he didn't think so I was going to drop the class. I didn't tell him that of course. He seems to think I can, I am not so sure. This next test will let me know for sure. I have a lab report due tomorrow and according to my group members, we did our calculations wrong. I am not doing it again. I simply refuse. To be honest I had mentally given up during class once he started the next chapter. The only thing stopping me is this hope he has for me. To him, I understand the physics, just can't manipulate the math. Which is what I basically blogged the first week of class. I understood the big picture before I stepped foot in the class. The equations just jack me up!

This evening was the second PTA meeting at Pooka's school. I was disappointed to see the significant drop in parents in attendance. I want to say I was the only non staff member of my general race there. That bothers me, that bothers me a lot. Anyways as luck would have it Pooka's PE teacher was there. After the meeting we sat down and had a talk about things we both do to help Pooka get motivated to participate in the activities. One interesting thing that happened was that Pooka gets in a "I can't/I don't know" mode. In PE today the teacher asked each kid where they can find there heartbeat. They did that activity last week so it was kinda like a quiz. Pooka's response was "I don't know". Tonight he asked her again and she gave the same answer. I don't know what prompted me, but I asked her what her name was...she said she didn't know. Of course Pooka knows her name forwards and backwards and can spell her name without hesitation most days (her last name is kinda long). This proved to the PE teacher that it's not that she doesn't know, it just she isn't cooperating. He wondered if it was because he was a man. I am not sure. It is still very up in the air and I am going to continue with my positive reinforcement and hopefully she will get it together.

Tonight at home I asked her if she knew how to hop, skip, jump, gallop, etc... This is what they are going to be doing next week in PE. Even though I personally seen her do these things, she started tearing up and told me she couldn't. I was giving her the I can speech and was trying to get her to tell me why she felt she couldn't when I knew for a fact she could. She wouldn't tell me. At the very least I got her saying that she could vs. she couldn't. I can't have my child having the mindset that she can't do anything. I have no idea where this concept even came from in the first place. She has never been the one to say she couldn't. Where is the parent handbook when you need it?

On a positive note I did sign up to volunteer at the book fair! I am already down for the fun run and I am having lunch with Pooka on Friday at the school which is nice cuz she has a dentist appointment that morning! YAY! I am also down for the Fall Experience and I think that where the kids are going to do a bunch of crafts and what not. My job offers 24 hours a year to community service/child involvement work. I haven't used not one hour of this time since I have been a permanent employee but boy I am gonna try and max those 24 hours out every year from here till I change employment! If there is something going on at the school and it don't interfere with my school time! I am there buddy!

I saw my neighbor who thinks/thought I was unapproachable and basically told her the parking issue wasn't no big deal with me and if she wanted to come talk to me about anything just knock on my door if I'm home. What I did find strange is that she was telling me that she wanted to park on the other side of where my other neighbor said she wanted to park. She also said how the other neighbor took what she was trying to say the wrong way and that she loved our little section and blah de blah de blah. The stories don't match but I am now parking my van in the seventh space (there are seven spaces allotted to our section, technically there are 8 but 7 realistically) vs. space number one and I will just observe where the both of them park for a minute just to see what the deal is. Personally I don't care as long as I got one of the 7 to put the van, period.

My main concern at the moments is how to keep "I can't" from out of Pooka and I's head and mouth.

"I CAN redo my lab report, I just don't WANT to"


Newy said...

When she says she "Can't" remind her of how well she did something else and that she can ask for help so that she can.

As for you...think of all the things you do well and remind yourself that 1)you did not do them well overnight and 2)You can only fail when you fail to try.

Ladynay said...

NewNew, but she is saying that she can't do things that she can actually do and it's frustrating. It's like me saying I can't blog when I do it darn near everyday.

I got her to the point last night where she is saying that she can and I reinforced that I don't ever want to hear her say that she can't. I also told her that if she is having a hard time doing something to ask for help, so I touched on your suggestion already.

I am still kinda discouraged but I will get over it eventually, I have been feeling like this as far as school is concerned for a few weeks now. I am just ready to fully jump out of it vs. just saying that I am out of it or trying to convince myself that I am out of it.

Freaky Deaky said...

Well since you already know she can it's just a matter of figuring out why she doesn't want to. Maybe she was teased and/or self-conscious about "performing" in gym class for some reason.

Ladynay said...

That could be. I asked the PE teacher if the kids teased her and he said he didn't notice that but it could be a possibility. We all know how kids can be and the teacher can't see and hear everything.

TTD said...

i know that feeling of not wanting to!! lol

maybe she picked it up from another child at school? im no parent.. but i think that enforcing the idea of "i can" is a good start..

blkbutterfly said...

the only input i had was what Freaky said. i know you spoke w/ the gym teacher, but maybe you should to Pooka (that name always makes me smile) and ask her what's happening in gym class.

deepnthought said...

I agree with everybody

Ladynay said...

I bet you do TTD! LOL

BB, I did, she isn't really saying much outside of she don't like gym class. That don't mean much because she is saying that about darn near everything lately.

DNT, short & sweet. I like it!

Lady J said...

Lady there no such thing as a parent handbook b/c you can not handle every child the same way. So just tell her what you believe in ur heart to be right, that's ur baby you won't steer her wrong. Maybe try reading to her the Little Engine That Could. CHOO CHOO Good Day!

Ladynay said...

J, life would be so much easier if childbirth came w/a child manual that takes you from birth to 21 years old!

The book suggestion was a real good one! Thank you.

Stoяmy Dazέ said...

As someone said, try the Little Engine that Could.

When your having trouble with something, let her hear you repeating "I think I can, I think I can"

She will get it.

Ladynay said...

SD, there's nothing like leading by example. Thanks for the suggestion.

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