Sunday, November 05, 2006

Fighting illness :-(

This weekend has been blah, but what's new. I called ole dude up Friday, who I will call Morocco, and he didn't call back till late yesterday. While I was waiting for my return call like a moron a friend of mine called to vent a little. He basically feels his biological clock ticking and he actually wants himself a long term relationship that ends in marriage and children. This makes the third guy I know of that has recently seemed to genuinely want to settle down and do something meaningful! To me that's a beautiful thing. To bad none of them live near me. I couldn't be my friend's significant other anyways because doing that would put our friendship at risk and it's too important to me risk losing.

After our convo I think I kinda sorta figured out what I would like to have. I would like to find someone I thought was worth getting to know. I know that I have some relationship issues I need to deal with before I consider doing the relationship thing, but I want someone around that I am getting to know while I am getting me together. Now I know that people in relationships always say that you have to have yourself together before you add someone to your world, and I agree to an extent. But, I mean we as humans will never have ourselves together, so when are we supposed to be ready? I dunno. Maybe this is just me trying to rationalize wanting some companionship now that my men list are empty. T-lo's acting funny so I don't know what we are doing so I put him over there------------->. Once upon a time I had choices, now I have none.

But Ladynay, you can use this time to perfect yourself and focus on what's important. You don't need a companion right now. You got a child to raise, school work to complete and agenda's to take care of at work. You want a hug? Pooka's there with unlimited hugs. You want to talk to someone? You got your girls. You want something to cuddle with on the cold nights? You got plenty of pillows and blankets. You want dick? You got that too. So why you craving a companion figure?

I don't know. I just don't know. The reason that I don't have one is cuz I been looking for one. It's hasn't been a full blown search, but I have been looking. Many people who are madly in love and very happy found it when they wasn't looking. *shrug*

So anywho, I finally talked to dude and a lot of the convo was shady. Example when I looked at the caller ID, the name didn't match the name Morocco gave me. But sometimes people have phones that are not in their names so whatever. When I answered, the dude on the line sounded like Tyrone from down the street. I guess he heard caution in my voice and asked who I was. After us indentifing one another his accent all of a sudden got heavy again.....ohhhh kay! Then there were 2 questions that he danced around: What do you do for a living? and Do you live with your wife? He is supposedly separated which I don't have a problem with because marriages fail all the time, but I wanted to know his living situation. No real answer. He also said that he was self employed, but he wouldn't tell me doing what. Then most the other answers were answered with an uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in the beginning. This the very first convo and I am asking really basic questions that don't require thinking. Like how old is your son. YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT! So yeah, I don't see this going anywhere. I may just be a dog and use him for what he's worth. I don't know. It's not my style but whatever.

Pooka and I was supposed to go to my school's homecoming game yesterday but it didn't work out that way. Now we are just chilling out trying to fight this cold or whatever it is trying to get us! Lots of rest, lots of juice, lots of broth, a tad bit of meds......yummy! Pooka is not acting sick but she has this bad cough and I am sneezing :-( I may concoct some soup out of what's in the kitchen and call it a day. Not sure yet.


deepnthought said...

Sick Soup!!!! My nana made it for me and it works. Not this last time but it does work.
If you got flags this early, then put Morroco in the I aint you stupid clown file. I must admit, I have been wanting a companion too lately. Its cold. I hope everything works out for you.

Ladynay said...

Soup is amazing. I am low on noodles so it's looking like a turkey and veggie soup for us today. Mmmmmmmmm! Yeah I hear you about Morocco. It may be fun for the moment pretending to be someone I am not since he apparently feels the need to pretend. Knowing me I really won't go through with it, but it's just a thought.

Thanks, I hope HIM or JC work out for you. Then your companion problems will be solved........and one of them could have a single relative in NC that's looking for someone like me and then we both would be in the buddy system! LOL

Freaky Deaky said...

I would give you a hug but I don't want to catch your cooties. I would give you a dirty little compliment but you might sneeze on me. Enjoy your soup and try to relax.

I hope you find your companionship and that you don't settle for the okey doke. I think whoever you find will be a lucky man. Okay being nice is making me start to itch so I'll stop.

deepnthought said...

HMMMMMMMMMMM. I just got to get over my nervous giggles and then just call him back. JC has to "work" today, so when I call I will make sure to ask him.

Ladynay said...

FD, Looking 4ward to the soup, it's got my place smelling wonderful so enjoying the soup and getting my relax on isn't gonna be a problem. :-) Thanks, you should stop being nice now, don't want you to get sick or anything! LOL

DNT, awwwwww nervous giggles how cute! LOL Good looking out! ;-P

Pamalicious said...

Hey Lady! As I sit here nursing a cold from running around half naked all weekend reliving my HS years - I am catching up on some reading since I don't blog on the weekend.

anyhoo- I'm not one of believes in all that self work. What if you the only one doing all this work and if you don't try it out in the real world - all you doing is sitting around becoming dellusional about the fact you 'got it together' you need a judge for that, lol

We are all work in progress and sometimes what you might think is a big deal really isn't to a particular person - don't look for perfection - just look for someone who's 'issues' match yours :)

I think we waste alot of time constantly working on self - LIVE

Ladynay said...

Oh lawd, not running around half nakkie like a teen are we? ROFL!

I agree with you to extent. You can't bring old crap into the new but as humans we never gonna be "perfect" so we not gonna find perfection.

I am not looking for perfection, just someone that fits me to the point I am comfortable sharing the complete me with bit by bit as I am getting me together. That sounds impossible but it's the best way I can put it.

I am trying to live, its just that I would prefer to live with a grown male by my side. I can drive,ride, and survive on my own so it's not a NEED. I just WANT someone on the passenger side.

I just come across people that show me they're not worthy to ride more than a block at a time or that they can even get in the car period.

Living is not the problem...

Pamalicious said...

Oh I wasn't implying that you wern't living :) - I also fully understand the want factor - I wrote an entire blog series about that want, lol

As I embark upon the wedding - I am rolling out myself daily to this man and he to me. It's a strange thing to just be 'me' warts and all - once you reach that point the understanding of your 'warts' is a powerful thing.

Ok no more pamalicious blogging within your blog, lol

meljoy said...

lol, i am sort of the same why. then again, why would you hit it off with someone you can't communicate properly with? That's honestly why I don't date boys that speak ebonics. like when they say "waz gud sexy?" I don't know what that means and I'm not going to spend half my conversation going "can you repeat that in laymans terms?"

Ladynay said...

Pam, I may have to find that blog series when I am having another bored day like today, LOL

What you have is a beautiful and powerful thing. That's what I am talking about: constant learning, constant growth, constant acceptance, constant understanding, constant teaching, constant communication...

Feel free to say what you think or to blog on my blog. As long as it's not ALWAYS about your wedding, cuz as a single person you can only be but so happy for someone in love/getting married until it feels like their being rubbed in their face with it by them coming to your space and repeatedly expressing how happy they are that they are not in your shoes.

That is not saying that you are doing so, cuz your not, seriously your not. I am just putting it out there so it will be out there.

Mel, what it do shawty? You spittin' like you don't like that flow da homies be crakin' on you! Wha? Dey needz to break out da scrilla ta getz some play na? Bless dem foolz widda upgrade! ROFL

blkbutterfly said...

i hope you and Pooka are feeling better today. i need to make some soup one day. the thing is i get bored with food easily, so the soup would sit there for ages after a day or two.

anyway, i sooo feel what you mean about wanting some companionship. you're not looking for someone to complete you. like Andre 3000 said, "you just want somebody by yo' side to help smooth that thang out," (can you tell what i'm listening to right now? :-))

i think that ppl trip a little too hard when people say they want someone. it's as if ppl see it as a sign of weakness, which is of course is some bs. ok, i'm gonna stop now, before i go off on a tangent.

Ladynay said...

BB, we're good! We wasn't really sick sick but it was trying to get us! I couldn't let that happen! LOL

I recall reading a bit about your thoughts about the people thinking wanting to be with somebody as a weakness thing so no need to go a tangent.

I can dig what Andre had to say...