Thursday, March 08, 2007

I don't understand...

why folks want what they can't have. I fall victim to this too because Lord knows I love me some cold milk in a glass when I know full daggone well I am not supposed to have it in those quantities (regular or soy). But I am talking more on the lines of relationships.

I was listening to a program, the same one that riled me up about fat people, and they where talking about cheaters. They had a segment in the show where he wanted the people who date married people to call in. 98% of those that called in were women. What really started to irk me was that most of the callers were proud of what they do/did! They ran all sorts of excuses of why it works for them. As someone who has been in the wife/"main" girlfriend position these women pissed me off! It made me think about the many (yeah many) women who hooked up with babydaddy knowing that I was who I was. It made me go back to an emotional place I try to leave alone. Fortunately I didn't go too deep down and pulled myself out of it.

There are so many single brothers out there that can give you what you need! You want a brotha that won't be all up under you? There is one out there. Want a brotha to help you out? There is one out there. Want a brotha who never spends holidays with you? There is one out there. Why do I have the urge to sing Monica's side line ho? LOL But what I am trying to say is that there are single men out there that will willingly treat you like a married man. The only thing that you won't have is the thrill of knowing you're doing something you are not supposed to and THINK your getting away with it!

I am aware that there are single men out there involved w/married or involved women but most of the callers into the show were women. Men are just as bad. Two good examples for me were that extra friendly plumber from a few weeks ago who wanted to know about how babydaddy was treating me and last night when I got an IM from Redbone! I thought he would have deleted me off his list by now cuz I know he has been off mine! So anyway the convo starts off pretty normal w/his standard line of you doing, school, Pooka, blah blah blah then somewhere after the filler he always asks if I was with someone. My response was "something like that" I mean technically I am single but I am not accepting applications right now,LOL. Normally when I get that question I respond no so I was curious about his response to my answer. I should have known it would be something like "so how is this guy, you good? you still stay in the same place" (read: you happy, if not can I come hit?) *eyeroll* "I'm good". Then he asked something that really made me laugh out loud...he asked if I missed him. UMMMMMMMMMMMM nah boo, glad you think enough of yourself to think I may actually say yes to ask me that though! I mean I can give you a list of things I missed during the time we were kicking it! LOL I did't say that but gave a cop out "I am too busy to miss anyone" and informed him I was signing off.

I mean why are so many men and women willing and wanting to be number 2 (3,4,5,etc...), the side dish, the other or whatever. Why are you so arrogant to think you can do whatever better than what folks got at home? If your stuff is so much better why not bless that single chick/dude that is waiting for someone like you with all this skill? Why you want someone elses partner? You think he/she gonna treat you better than what is at home?

Does that good woman/man at home not stroking your ego enough so the flash of a smile, the smoothness of a compliment, a flirty touch and a possible show of some body part of another is worth straying? Relationships are hard and require work, are you that lazy to work on what you got? I mean you did choose what you got at some point! Or are you just greedy? Or maybe that someone else treats you good. If they treat you so good why don't you leave what you got already? You want variety? Take your man/woman to the novelty store and buy something new, dress up like someone else...something!

I need to drop the mic before my pressure goes up. I just don't understand the whole concept.


deepnthought said...

wow... Why was I just discussing this with my sister? I have a friend who is currently cheating and wonders why I get offended and don't like listening about how good the other guy is.... Is she stupid or stupid?

I think you are so right... They are lazy greedy and selfish... Thats how I feel. I understand that sometimes you want to be happy and all that and you deserve to be, but when it comes down to it, if a person has to manipulate and lie and cheat to get happiness then is it really worth it. just move on... I really have issue with the other woman or man... If they cheated on their wife/husband to be with you then what makes you think that they wont cheat on you.

Ladynay said...

Exactly, she is proud of her man on the side! I don't understand. Why not leave the man that is at home or be single and date around? Or better yet, talk to the man at home and tell him what you are doing? Open relationships exist, it's just not fair if one is participating and the other is faithful!

Anonymous said...

I;m a happily married woman and it pisses me off to think that sistas and brothas are out there feeling empowered cause they can influence wicked behavior. What kinda skills are we talkin about huh? I mean how many ways can you suck? If the sistas brag about that as being their best skills and the their biggest asset is their ass. then our black people are doomed. Our way of thinking is self destructive. My people insist upon risky behavior no matter the cost. (68% new cases of Aids are AA women) In time my people will be no people.

Honey-Libra said...

LOL it's sad cause there is someone out there for everyone but to be honest I have been the other woman, I knew he had a girl, they were going through some issues and I was fine being the sidedish...he would cook me dinner, buy me stuff and when she called he would leave the room...I stopped talking to him cause I felt so horrible, I mean how would I feel if my bf was with another chic while talking to me on the phone...I tell ya

Kasandra said...

I too am going thru the same thing. Weird!!! I want this guy, but he doesn't want to committ. I've always really liked him, but he never wanted to committ to me. When I finally thought he was gonna give it a shot, I asked if I was the only chic. Turns out he was honest and told me no there were 2 more chics. Right then and there, I told him I can't be the other chic cuz it's too many diseases out there and I've seen our sistas directly and indirectly get burnt by being the other woman.

My question is also....if you are unhappy, why not seek help? Is is a muncho man thing or what? There is nothing wrong with someone trying to help add spice back to your relationship.

Ladynay said...

Anon, I feel and hear you!

Honey, at least you felt bad about it. Their are many women (apparently) out there that prefer to be the other woman. *eyeroll*

Kass, I am not going through this, this was a topic on a radio station that got me thinking. Be thankful that he was real with his and let you know the deal and gave you the choice to stay or leave. Some women only have their gut to go on.

That Dude Right There said...

LadyNay, I'm with you when you are right. I will never understand what makes people cheat. Never, never, never. When I meet a dude, the first question that I ask is if he is single. If there is any kind of hesitation upon answering the question, HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladynay said...

No matter what the reason, cheating is a choice.

I like that hesitation idea a lot. May have to start using that.