Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I am usually not the one to post forwards, but this one made me chuckle and I have nothing to talk about. I mean, school starts today, but I won't have nothing to say about it until tomorrow :-) So, why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it de serves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.;

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken ?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

9 comments:

Freaky Deaky said...

You know Oprah would've made Rachel Ray cook the chicken and serve it to her naked on a silver platter.

LOL @ Colonel Sanders. He's like the Adolph Hitler of the chicken world.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

That was funny!

Omar Ramon said...

a mess! lol

kasandra said...

LOL at Freaky!!!! That was too funny girl!!!

Darius T. Williams said...

Hilarious! Simply hilarious. The Colonel - lol, did I miss one? Classicly hilarious.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

im down w grandpa and einstein

Ladynay said...

Freaky, you need to stop the fantasy you're having! LOL

Southern, Omar, Kasandra, shit I agree with yall! ROFL

Freaky Deaky said...

You know Oprah gets down like that. Hell, if I was filthy rich I would too. The only people who would be allowed to keep their clothes on in my house are dudes (who would only be allowed in to repair, build, and for other manual labor) and relatives because I just don't want to see them naked ever again. All the other chicks are gonna have to strip. If I like what I see then I might dig into my pennies and make it trickle!

Hey, I didn't even mention the stuff she makes Dr. Phil do.

AR Gal said...

The one with Hillary made me holla! lol That sounds like some ish she would say, knowin good and well she be lyin. lol