Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I just don't understand

Since I've been back working part time at the state, I've had a brief chance to reconnect with Slim Shady. I blogged about her before. Slim Shady is a sorta kinda friend/co-worker/associate of mine that I've known for years. She is also the one that is physically fighting the father of her second child. The one who has had him locked up. The one who showed me her battle scars the last time I worked here. The one who says she's let him go and kicks him out, but still sleeps with him and lets him stay over. Remember her?

Well recently when she came to my office space we originally started talking about her older son's school project, but somehow she changed the subject to her new child's father. She basically told me the same stuff she usually does about how she kicked him out, she's really done with him this time, how she has to move on for her kids, blah blah blah, then she goes on to tell me about how they fought the night before, how she slapped him so hard her hand literally felt like it was on fire and about to melt off her body, how he knocked her upside the head while she was holding the baby, so forth and so on...then she said something that I believe is true....

"Ladynay, he's going to end up killing me or I'm going to end up killing him".

She didn't say it in an I'm scared type of way either. It was more like a bring it on type thing. Then she told me how after the fight the previous night she thought about smothering him with a pillow as he slept. Then told him the next morning that he "liked to woke up in heaven this morning". WTH?

I just don't understand.

She told me that she told her 2nd child's father that she's getting good at fighting in the morning then coming to work with nobody knowing it. Again, stated in a manner that there is nothing wrong with what she is saying.

I just don't understand.

I was talking to Snookums about it last night and let him know that I couldn't see us fighting like that and still being together. It couldn't be me. I know love is strong and powerful, but HELLZ NAH! I know and heard many stories about battered people that stay, but HELL to the NAH! I can't do it.

Being that this is has been going on for at least a year (they been together for 2+ years and most of the first year was the lovey dovey peaches and cream stuff). Matter of fact, she got pregnant shortly after he got out of jail for beating her ass. I don't feel sorry for her anymore. Sad, but true. There are only so many times I can offer advice and suggest help. If she doesn't at least attempt to help herself she will end up dead or in jail on a murder charge.


Steez said...

Yikes!!! Unfortunately there is a lot of that going around. I have woman friends that tell me stuff just as crazy or crazier i.e. boyfriends pulling guns on them. At first its sad, but then you get that "you must like it" attitude. Its wild shes talking about offing dude in his sleep

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u will just dont work yourself up folk

Freaky Deaky said...

You're better than me. I don't think I could talk to her without asking if she was some kind of masochist who got off on getting her ass beat. Still why have that around your kids? Do we really need two more people growing up and thinking that's acceptable?

I think your friend and her man both need to be forcibly sterilized and lose the kids.

Ladynay said...

Steez, she hasn't told me about gun play but I wouldn't be shocked if it started with SS.

Why do they tell people like us knowing they won't do anything about it and there is only but so much we can do?

Exactly! After awhile your compassion fades and you just want to shake them and say shit or get off the pot already!

Again, I understand it's easier to say leave then to really do it, hell, I stayed in a unhealthy relationship longer than I should have myself, but come on!!!! Get fed up and really do something already!

Torrance, I don't think I will understand the situation, part of me never wants to.

FD, I never thought to ask her even tho I've thought the same thing. The way she talks it's like she's been fighting so long it's normal.

I am not going to talk much about the kids, but the way things are going they are learning alot from what's going on in the household. Slim told me how she had to spank her older son because he slapped someone for "getting on his nerves". *eyeroll*

Both families know what's going on because when he got locked up his family got him out (I think I blogged about that too) I am surprised neither grandmother picked them boys up yet.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Sounds like she loves the drama. I don't feel sorry for her at all. Just the kids b/c they will grow up to think that's acceptable behavior. SMH.

How can you sit there and listen to her 'ghetto' tales?

Ladynay said...

Southern, like I listen to her talk about everything else.

When I met her for the very first time (at the state job, we both were temps)we were room mates that were split by a cubical wall. That same day, before she knew my last name, she told me something that anybody else would tell only their closest circle. After she dropped the bomb she wondered why she felt she could tell me that. She's been talking to me ever since...and I've listened. I guess I am just used to her. *shrug*

kasandra said...

Yeah I was a child who had to watch that and I REFUSE for my son to go thru it. You try to do things differently than what your parents do. I think she likes ish like that. All you do is pray for her and especially for the kids. ***SIGH***

Ladynay said...

I am glad you turned out the opposite and not exposing your son to what you've seen growing up. We'll see in a few years how her older son chooses to act. esp. towards females.

At this point that's all I can do is listen when she wants to speak and pray for her and the household.

AR Gal said...

Then told him the next morning that he "liked to woke up in heaven this morning".

I can't be the only one that laughed at this sh*t. lol

or this... She told me that she told her 2nd child's father that she's getting good at fighting in the morning then coming to work with nobody knowing it.

If only she was as good at getting her house in order as she was at fighting......

I hear you Ladynay, there are only so many times you can beat a dead horse. At the end of the day, the mf'er is still dead. *smdh*

spchrist said...

Holy sheet...You probably want to STAY WAY OUTTA this unless you want to be a witness for a murder trial. You might want to refer her to a social worker or have her talk to the police...because this sounds like a relationship that is headed to the grave...literally.

Ladynay said...

Argal, exactly! And don't be using that wake up in heaven line on Z either! LOL!

Sp, been there done that. She won't seek help from those that help people like her for a living and the police have records of the numerous occasions that they have been to her residence and of course the only time she actually pressed charges and he got locked up is on record.

So if or when someone gets taken out of here folks will have something to trace back to. If I ever get called to be a witness I'll tell what I know and keep moving.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Thats that shit right there. Some Bitches, and I mean Bitches like to fight period fucken dot. They pick dudes instinctively that they know are on that page.

E said...

Wow ladynay...that's a mess! It sounds like the way things are going between them, she's right in that it'll either be her or him.

I'm trying to remember if I read about Snookums before. He sounds familiar. I think I need to do some more reading.

Ladynay said...

Boss, I think you right.

E, I don't post much about him so good luck :-)

Ms.Honey said...

Ok that kind of stuff makes me tell folks stop tellin me your business if you know that what you are doing sounds and is insane...I dont need it nor do I want to subject my ears to nonsense...she must like getting that ass tapped and not in a good way clearly