Wednesday, October 28, 2009

In love with the aisle

Because I can't gossip about it at work and this is about a coworker, who I will name Dreamer, I chose to blog right quick, LOL!

Now a little back story on Dreamer. Dreamer and I have been working together for about 5 or 6 years. When she first started she ALWAYS talked about her boyfriend/fiance Brown. Everyone willing to listen heard her stories and anyone willing to look saw pictures. That good and dandy. You're in love and you want the world to know. I can dig it. The only issue with Dreamer is that after awhile her stories didn't connect anymore giving you the vibe they were not together anymore but she wanted to keep up like they were. Okay, no prob. Nobody called her on it, just had internal questions. Then she stopped talking about him all together. The talk of wedding stuff never stopped though.

Flash forward to this year. She is in love and dating a pastor. They are planning to get married of course. All is good. Flash forward to yesterday. She is asking people out the blue "when I get married, will you come to the wedding?" It strikes most people odd because like I said, the question just comes out the blue. Now flash forward to a few moments ago. I hit up the break room to see what I can buy to keep me awake for the next hour and a half. As I am tossing my coins in the drink machine Dreamer comes in.....

Dreamer: Hey Ladynay, how you doing?

Me: Fine Dreamer, and yourself?

Dreamer: Oh I'm good thanks for asking.

*my drink releases and as I'm bending to get it I see in my peripheral that Dreamer stopped what she was doing which means she's about to start a convo, I curse in my head because most of us who know Dreamer know better than to get into a conversation with her, I do my best to keep it moving*

Dreamer: You use to live in Maryland right?

Me: *curses again internally* Yep *still walking*

Dreamer: *walking with me* You heard of such and such MD?

Me: *cursing yet again internally and stops walking* Yeah. *thinking my short answers will tip her off that I'm not trying to talk*

*Insert 1 million and 1 questions about a city I've never been in long enough to answer any of them. I have no clue why she kept asking questions when clearly I didn't know!*

Dreamer: You remember Brown? The guy I used too..

Me: *cutting her off* Yeah I remember him.

Dreamer: He got this job in such and such MD.

Me: That's great. *attempting to make my exit*

Dreamer: I may be moving out there with him. That's why I was asking you so many questions about such and such MD.

Me: What? I didn't even know yall were back together! *voice in my head YELLING at me reminding me that asking "What happened to pastor" would be a fatal mistake, I listen to myself*

Dreamer: Yeah girl, you wouldn't believe how long we been together....*insert story about them being together since she was 19, how she ran into Brown's father and how his family can't wait for her to be apart of them, blah blah blah.....

Me: That's nice.

Dreamer: He's getting himself together and I am working on me.

Me: We all trying to get it together *walking towards break room exit, back towards Dreamer, she gets the msg that I am done speaking*

Dreamer: all right, talk to you later

Me: *throwing up my standard peace sign still walking away*

Now 1) When did Brown come back into the picture?
2) What happened to Pastor?
3) Does she really think Brown wants her up there?
4) Hell, does Brown even know she ran into his father and got all these thoughts now
5) Do they even talk anymore?

Now Dreamer is exactly like her blog name. She always has her head in the clouds, always talking about a wedding...her or no man...

One sure way to piss Dreamer off is to announce your engagement to the office. Her whole attitude changes for the worse for a minute. It's quite entertaining to me. The state job has thrown many a wedding shower for coworkers since she's been here and Dreamer is NEVER there to participate in any of them!

Anywho, my thing is how can someone be so in love with the thought of marriage? Why can't us women see that if a man hasn't "put a ring on it" and yall been kicking it for 15+ years, the chances are STRONG he not going to wife you. It don't take the average man THAT long to figure it he wants to settle with you. I don't claim to know men, but I do know that daggone much!

I want to go to her and break it down to her, but I know it will go into one ear and out the other. I want to tell her that most of us that she is talking to strongly believe that Brown has moved on and is doing his thing in MD now not studdin' Dreamer. That if he wanted her to go with him he would have asked her to. That an 15+ (I add the plus because I don't know her age, but she appears to be in her mid to late 30's) year on and off engagement is not a good sign. Part of me wants to tell her that most of her stories only make sense in her mind. Part of me want to snatch her out the clouds and wake her from the on going dream she's having.


Anonymous said...

She would catch me in a bad mood and I would tell her all of that.

Po' thang.

AR Gal said...

Most times they already know but you still want to mollywhop their ass upside the head just for good measure. lol People like that get soooooo caught up in their fantasy world that the line between real life and make believe can get mighty blurry.

Has anyone ever actually seen the Pastor? Correction, has anyone ever seen her out with the Pastor because I don't think he exists (other than in her head).

Ms. Insatiable said...

Dreamer? That's her name/ Homegirl needs to get that stuff under control. Obviously she knows that marriage isn't happening anytime if she hates on others when they have office engagement parties. Sweetie, move on. Brown is doing his thing. The pastor was a figment of her imagination. Somebody will check her one day and you will call her Crazy instead of Dreamer. LOL

Freaky Deaky said...

15+ years? Yeah, if they're not married by now then that ship has probably sailed off into the sunset years ago. Tired of hearing women try to convince themselves that they have something that should be obvious to anyone with a few functioning brain cells that they don't. Besides what's so damn special about a ring anyway. Look what that ring did to Gollum!

So will you be attending her "wedding shower"? *snickers*

Jameil said...

*applause* i'm so proud of you for not asking all those questions! it would've ABSOLUTELY started one of those convos you want to punch yourself for getting into!! don't even waste your time... altho... it might get her to stop sharing all this stuff w/you! but it's not going to make you feel better b/c like you said, you know she won't listen. guess what? i don't even believe in 3-yr relationships w/o engagement. if you don't know by then, that's a no. even 2 might be a stretch.

Ladynay said...

Southern, Po..po thang *bows head*

AR, Exactly!

Nobody has seen him or knows his name. Dreamer calls him the pastor so we call him the pastor.

Mo, I kinda hope she get's a dose of reality before I leave again and that I'm not the administrator of that dose!

FD, If a wedding takes place and I get a formal invite, not a wish washy verbal one, I would go. I would have to see that ultra huge smile that would be on her face! LOL!

Jameil, once you've had a few extended conversations with Dreamer you learn how to stop yourself from getting to far gone.