Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Deal with it

Here I am, 11/3/2009, not even a 1/2 hour ago.....I strongly dislike this picture.

I've been having image issues for awhile now. Lately these issues have been heightened by having the chance to see who will be in the DPT program with me through a Facebook group. At first I felt kinda bad because nobody in my soon to be class looked like me. Then recently I've been given a big brother from the class of 2011 and a big sister from the class of 2010. In befriending them on Facebook I got to see what some of the other classes look like and again...no morbidly obese, no blacks, no naturally locked hair...just pretty and petite Caucasian chicks and athletically built Caucasian guys.

It dawned on me that I haven't taken a picture and shared it with people since I graduated in December! So in an effort to deal with this bs I am throwing myself out there and forcing myself to deal with it. I'm eating better, I'm making use of the gym, I am making progress and I will make peace with my image issues.

21 comments:

Rashan Jamal said...

Where's your broken tooth? I don't have no image issues. I work around black people and live around black people and when I am out and about I am around black people. Man, I might not ever need to leave ATL!

Ms. Insatiable said...

Everyone has image issues but one day you will wake up and learn to love you and accept you for who you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you you aren't beautiful. We were all uniquely made in perfection.

CANDICE said...

Image issues, this sounds familiar. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me because I looked just white and my black grandparents were raising me. I am now learning I am beautiful and must love myself. I have crazy curly hair that is now turning gray but its natural so who cares!!

You are beautiful!!

The Brown Blogger said...

Yep.

Beautiful to me.

Don't go over the ledge trying to change how the Creator made you. He does great work!

YBandDL Bad PYT In the Closet at Hearbreak Hotel said...

Okay look at it this way, you are setting the precedent. You are making the way for black women, like yourself. You are the Hattie McDaniels, the Dorothy Dandridge, the Cicily Tyson, the Halle Berry of the DPT program. Maybe other women, like yourself in the future, will look back on your class like you are doing it right now and think to themselves, "Hay I can do it, because she is like me, and looks me!" It is never easy be the first and the trend setter, just fake the funk until you make it. Don't let others see your insecurities.

That's what I do. Lord knows I have them too. It is so crazy you wrote this. I was feeling the same way lately. I feel so unattractive and not...well I just don't feel good about the way I look. I was even thinking about writing about it myself. It gets worse each month. But enough about me. This is about you.

First of all, I think you look good for probably sitting around the house, when you took the picture.

I think most of us are harder on ourselves. Like Pooka was with her art work in your last post. Now get where I said "most" some people are not. Just learn to fake it until you make it with yourself. For example think of the positives. Like you have a pretty smile. Although Rashan says you are supposed to have a broken tooth, at least I don't see it. Take into consideration you have nice locks. Now I can't tell through the picture, but they look nice and well maintain. I see some men and women and t heir locks look...well lets just say with the movie, "Good Hair," being out there, I should keep my thoughts to myself.
Oh, who am I kidding, their locks looks a nappy mess, I'm sorry I just have to be me.

And what's with this morbid obesity comment, can't you think of something better. Like I'm a voluptuous or
"...I didn't see and big girls or real sized women, no blacks, no naturally locked hair..."

You have to start with yourself, in how you see yourself, like I need to start with myself, and then it works it way out.

@Brown Blogger, I'm not sure I completely agree with you. I feel like I should, but then again I don't. God does make us, and does do beautiful work, but he also makes things to enhance ourselves, right?

I mean their is sickness, and he makes doctors, and works through them and medicine and other things. So hmm, I don't know about, where you are coming from.

Nspired said...

I agree with Ms. Insatiable. Everyone has them. My friend told me one time, we are never happy with the what we are given, and it's true.

I think your "Dahling" Hugs.

Ladynay said...

ROFL! It's at the bottom Rashan! And no I'm not taking a pic so you can see it so don't ask! LOL!

Mo, I love the inner me and there are days when I love the outer me too. It's just getting harder and harder to come by those loving the complete me days.

Hello Candice! I am not sure if this is your first comment or not so welcome, take your shoes off, and make yourself comfy. :-) Crazy curly hair is cool! Thanks.

BrownBlogger, Thank you. I will not do anything crazy to change my appearance, though I must admit I thought about lipo for a second to speed up the process. I was given what I was given and I'm just trying to get it back to where I comfortable with it.

YBDL, I thought about that and how standing out can work in my favor as well not just against me. I mean my ultimate goal is to have a career doing something that is dominated by white men! *Physical Therapist for a professional sports team* You definitely won't find a black woman doing that! LOL! The only women I found that were team therapist worked with the WNBA!

Thank you, statement accepted. How you know I wasn't about to go to the club? LOL! Nah, I was in the bathroom trying to find a way to toss my hair to make my head look less ginormous for my "like the picture or not" current online photo debut! And no, ginormous is not in the dictionary! :)

Fake it till you make it huh? Hmmmmmmm Don't have much of a choice so I'm going to have to. Thanks for the confirmation that even my fake smile is decent! YAY! The dental issue is there, I'm just not going to display a Celie type smile for the world to see!

You made me laugh with the locs comment some do look...different! LOL! Many and many a day have I made myself look in the mirror and point out the positives. I just can't always ignore the negative, they never get fixed that way.

Voluptuous is a sexy feeling word. I'm feeling morbidly obese, not extra thick, plus sized, plush, or any other of those better sounding words than fat, heavy set or morbidly obese. It's just how I'm feeling. I do understand that it's all about the mindset though. I get that. I do.

We will work on it together! YAY!

I can't speak for nobody, but what I think he was trying to say is to not go overboard trying to change what I've been given. We've been given options to alter or enhance our outward appearances but that doesn't mean we need to get stupid with it and mess myself up! Lil Kim comes to mind.

Nspired, Thank you "Dahling" *smh*

labellanoire said...

I understand image issues, and deal with it everyday. Even if you have to tape the words to your mirror, remember the Creator makes no mistakes and everything His hand touches is beautiful. *hugs*

Ladynay said...

Awww thank you for the hug! I used to have messages taped in various places and special msg on my old cell phone that popped up everytime I turned the phone on. But they've been taken down for one reason or another.

I am a work in progress. Under construction. :-)

LsbnMom said...

Cool picture! You have more for you going than you give yourself credit! You are a wonderfully beautiful person inside and out! Now, chant that and go with it! LOL

AR Gal said...

What a beautiful smile and beautiful face!!!

Like others have said, we all have image issues (well apparently except for Rashan, lmao) and self acceptance is the key. It's funny I used to be picture taking whore for the camera (lol)and now I rarely take them. *sigh* I really don't know when that happened but I can't stand taking pictures these days. Perhaps I need to do a similar post and a bit of self reflection.

Ladynay said...

LSBN, Whatever you say lady, lol! Thank you and I'll make that one of my affirmations :-P

AR, Smile is fake but thanks! :-D

So you are saying there is a chance you may put your pic on the bloggy blog? Nice! Let me tell you that once you do it you are going to be VERY tempted to take it down!

Freaky Deaky said...

I'm going to throw up a pic of me later today. Um, not! I like the hair and the eye brows. I think most people have days (or periods) when they don't feel very hot. Just ride it out. The no one can't tell you you're not sexy days (or periods) will be here soon enough.

Gotta agree with YB&DL again. Be you! Maybe your inclusion in the program will be the paradigm shift that inspires more people who don't fit the traditional PT look to go for it. You don't think Obama wondered about not looking like the other people who occupied the White House before him? Handle your business because I call dibs on the free tickets to whatever team you work with. *grabs my brick*

Ladynay said...

Now that would be a blog post I'd like to see!

Thank you Mr. Deaky.

Yeah it's a cycle, but it's starting to become more days on the down than up when most people are usually up with the occasional down.

Maybe. I'm sure Mr. 44 thought a lot of things. Many folks had a lot to say about him not fitting the mold either! Plenty of it wasn't nice! :-(

Ummmmm can I get an offer from somebody before you start calilng dibs???? ROFL!!!!! Shoot, can I at least make it through PT school first??? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

(((HUG))))

We all go through image issues at some point. You can love yourself and still wake up feeling some type of way. Just don't let it drag on for days. You are beautiful and don't ever forget it!~

Ladynay said...

Yay! More cyber hugs! :-)

I'm working on it.

AR Gal said...

Uhhhhhh, maybe but don't hold your breath waiting on it. lol

Ladynay said...

AR, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL!

Freaky Deaky said...

Nope, I can't wait. Consider it a token of how much I believe in you that I'm asking now. When graduate and get the job every greedy person and secret family member will crawl out of the woodworks. Besides I don't do lines unless I'm first. :oD

Ladynay said...

LOL@ I don't do lines unless I'm first! Tee hee hee

Awwwww! Thanks for believing in a sista man, that's what's up!

mznewy said...

awwww LOve the pic I am with Ms. Insatiable everyone has image issues. I am going to post my mugg today when I get home.