Sunday, January 16, 2011

TMI...you've been warned!

This entry is me sharing somethings that most consider too much information so I will give you a moment to click elsewhere, hit the back button, the x in the upper corner or whatever...

































Still here? Okay. Well I've just got off the phone with my Snookums and I was telling him about my new addiction of sorts...with toys. Sex toys. I had a couple for awhile and recently had acquired a few more. I plan on getting another one before the week is out, but only because I burnt the one I had like it out. Don't judge me! LOL! My libido on a scale from 0-10 has been anywhere from a 5 to a 10 for the past few months (my hormones are going crazy, I'll get to that in a moment) and since my baby doesn't live down the street or with me, I have to ummmmm take matters into my own hands! LOL! There is absolutely nothing like the real thing, NOTHING. But unless I whore myself out which brings on STD's and or babies, I gotta do what I gotta do! Catching and/or dying from an STD is a huge fear of mine. OMG and having Pooka have to tell people her mom died from and STD! A nightmare!!!!!!! So yeah, I will go to the store and pay for my relief. My toys don't talk, they give me what I want when I want it, no babies, no STD's, they don't even care if I'm on my cycle! Perfect! My latest, and so far favorite toy is *cue music*





The Hit.achi Mag.ic Wand. I normally don't do that break up with period thing but I don't want the traffic of those looking it up on a search engine! LOL! Did I say this thing was my favorite? If not, it's my favorite. Yep, my favorite. Favorite! LOL! At first I couldn't handle it, but now, it's my bitch! LOL! The great thing about this is it's original purpose is to be a massager. You can buy it at Wally world or any other store. The added bonus is that there are attachments to this bad boy. The wonderful, wonderful, wonderful attachments. HAHAHAHA! Did I mention this thing plugs into the wall? Tee hee hee! I swear it will take you anywhere you want to go fast!

A couple of years ago I used to follow a blog of a chick that was obsessed with her wand. I now know why! I have no clue why I wasn't curious enough to buy one before when she ranted an raved about it. *shrug* Oh well, I have one now! I highly recommend it whether you have access to human dick or not! *cheese*

Okay now the other TMI stuff. If you are a man I would suggest you stop reading at this point. I am going to talk about aunt Flo. :-)

I'll give you a moment.

Okay.

After I had Pooka I started getting that lovely shot that you get every 3 months. Got on it with no side effects and my period disappeared. Wonderful. Well I got my last shot around April (I think) of 2010 for no reason other than I wanted to stop. I knew I would gain weight *sigh* and it would take awhile for my body to get that stuff out of my system. I was on it for over 9 years so I knew it would be awhile. Fast forward to 1/1/11. I finally get a cycle! YAY! I'd been waiting for it. Good news right? WRONG! I've been bleeding ever since! Today is day 16! Last night I was reading forums about the side effects of coming off depo! OMG! Had I known then what I know now I would have never ever got on it! My symptoms are nothing compared to what some other women are going or have been through. One woman said that she was on her period for a year! A YEAR! I pray to God the few symptoms I do have will go away sooner than later. I have the bleeding and all that comes with that, increased fatigue, weight gain and hormones running wild. Which explains my recent increase in # of sex toys. I already take iron due to my touch of anemia so not to concerned about my iron loss. But I really wish my hormones will balance out and I can go back to the Ladynay I was pre shots that had a cycle like clockwork.

I want my body back!

3 comments:

Freaky Deaky said...

*Gasp* More posts like this and you will have to change your name to Freakynay. x(

It has always irked me that women have such a diverse selection of self-gratification aids and men get fleshlights, butt plugs, and prostate stimulators. Of course when they sex robots are mass produced our toys will blow yours out of the water. LOL.

Well, look at it this way if your man lived down the street he'd be extra frustrated right about now. Can't you go back on the shot and reverse all of that? It might be worth it.

Monique said...

Here's a trick: buy you a good old fashion back massager from Walmart for about $20. use the attachment that's kinda rounded at the end. Instant O's all.the.time. you'll thank me later.

Yikes! 16 days? i don't think I bled that long after giving birth to my son. I would say if its still going strong at day 21, you might want to talk to the doc. Make sure you are eating plenty of iron rich foods too.

LsbnMom said...

So, I'm just now catching up on your blog... I want one of these for my bithday! LOL