Sunday, June 26, 2005

Another time has come

I said earlier that I would address some things at another time. Well I am bored, the house is clean, pooka is occupied in her room, my mom is on the highway back north, I have updated myself on all the blogs I usually read, and no one is on messenger. Came across some other blogs I may have to add to my list soon :-) Hmmmm what did I say I would get back to first?

My job...I work for the gov't I like the job but the people can make you wanna drop kick them sometimes. I got a work promotion of sorts several months ago. Work promotion meaning I got the extra work but not the extra pay. Ever since I got a little say and got my little office I got some haters. Not to long ago I had a vent cuz I was bout to tell MainHater off. Long story short Mainhater is trying to find every and anything to complain about me. Not to sound over confident or anything, but I can email and post stuff all day long and still get more work done than her and my stuff be accurate. I know my stuff. Well anyway Mainhater has been there forever and will retire in 2 years. She is on vacation for 2 whole weeks! Have I said that the Lord is good? LOL Anyway back to the story....Since she has been there as long as she has her word has kinda become law. Even if it changes week to week. So last week she changed the rule on a certain way we process certain paperwork. She gave it back to me saying that she beleives that abc should be done like xyz. I was irritated because she didn't have any business with my paperwork. After I sign off on it saying it's okay then that is that....so anyway when she gave some of the paper work back I told her that it was correct and she just repeated herself on how she now thinks this should be done. So me and my non comfrontational self says "okay" in the tone that said I'll make the change and get out my office. She leaves, I take it to a supervisor and I give him the paper and asked him if he saw anything wrong with the work. He looks it over, says nothing is wrong with it...I tell him what Mainhater said and he is like well if that what she thinks then do it that way....WTF is wrong with this picture?

Why does she have so much pull and say over what is what and change the rules when she wants to, even when it don't have any logic to it? I have no say and my opinion doesn't count there. I went and vented to my co worker and she felt the same way and we talked about how hard it is to work somewhere where you have no say and it's pointless to try to go against the people who do have a say because you will lose, every time without fail! blah blah blah...then it's the internet use...we had to cut down on the access net use during work hours, which sucks cuz now I have to wait till I get home to try and stay up on net convo's in the groups that I am in ......

Me and asking a lot of questions.....BlueAngel stated that I ask a lot of questions, which I do. Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot for asking some of the questions I do. Like why don't I know that? But it just irks me not to know. Sometimes I really feel as if the amount of intelligence I once had is fading away slowly but surely. For instance, a friend of mine was talking some stuff about black american society and progression. When he was done with the monologue he asked me what my thoughts were. I darn near heard crickets! I felt so bad not having a opinion or something to say right then but my mind was just blank! I just rambled some stuff that he already hit on and left it at that. I really felt bad because any other day I love and crave to talk about something real that is not sexually based. Sex is one of my favorite things to talk about please don't get me wrong, but it's just something about a deep mental word massage that is so refreshing. I love when someone says something or gives a view that gets my brain going, leaves me something to ponder and reflect on. I have just felt dumb for not delivering one to anyone lately. My mind just goes blank now a days.....now speaking on intelligence and what not....

HBCU's love em or hate em! For me it's both. I don't have very many credits left in order to get my degree. The main goal is to become a Physical Therapist. But anyway let me give the lowdown on my adventures on trying to get back to my HBCU. I have not been to school in 2 whole years, so I decided to get my butt back in school for the second summer session that started in June. I got through all the hoopla of getting remitted which was a trail in and of itself. I mean I am talking about having a meeting with my advisor, talking an extended lunch from work to go up there and the lady never shows up type stuff. Crazy just crazy, so when I finally get to the point where I could register for my class and find out what financial aid can do for a sista. My advisor and I get into the system and there is a hold on my account...WTF was this about...it turns out when you leave the university Health Services makes you shot record inactive. So of course it being after hours and a Friday I waited till Monday to call them up and make my shot record active so I can register. Monday morning called made, she said she removed the hold and we are all good.

I get a letter in the mail from financial aid saying that I need to do xy and z so they can do what they need to do for me. Part of the letter I didn't understand so I called up the next day. Somewhere in the conversation I mentioned that I was only going to take 3 hours this semester and that is when the lady dropped a bomb on me...you have to take at least 6 hours to receive aid! Mannnnnn with the way things are now there is no way I could take more than one class this summer and I didn't have the money to pay for the class out of pocket. After we ended the conversation I could have cried. I was soo hyped about going back in June. I know August is only a few months later but one of my flaws is I want what I want when I want it and I can't stand when things go against the plan. Anywho... The only way to register for the fall is online so of course the site was down for several weeks which just reminded me that I was going to an HBCU, now please I love my black schools and want to support them but when I went to a non black university I didn't have these problems.....so anywho the site finally came up yesterday. Of course by me having a computer at home it was one of the sites I hit up. YEAAAAAA I can finally get the ball rolling right? WRONG!!!!! The immunization record is still on hold. So now I have to call up student health services and find out what in the world is going on tomorrow. Grrrrrrr

Well I guess I'll talk about my mom's trip to see me. My mom is my ace and the hole. I really don't know what I would do without her. I have been in my new place for over a year and she is the first blood to come spend the weekend with me. She stays in MD with my grandparents. Anyways, she comes in Friday morning. I scoop her up then go scoop up pooka from daycare. On the way to my house she tells me to stop at the grocery store. I know my mom and my mom knows Imma state employee who gets paid once a month and that last week is a PAIN. So when she said that I knew she was about to hook me up and buy more food than what she planned to eat for the weekend. What a blessing. So after go shopping we come home and chill. It was nice having her here. I got to really go to sleep while pooka was still up and go hang out with Lookalike which was an added bonus because pooka was sick Saturday so I really could not have gone if she wasn't here. The only thing I really realized by her weekend visit is that I like my space. My mom would try to cook and it just didn't feel right haveing her in my kitchen. But when I go home I could care less. She tried to clean pooka bathroom and give her a bath. I let her give her a bath but I couldn't have her cleaning out the tub. It was weird. My mom isn't a guest but it just didn't feel right haveing her do the things that I usually handle in my place. It's kinda hard to explain.

She is supposed to be moving down here near the end of the year which is good cuz I will be closer to her and I will have a shoe in baby sitter. NO I am not the type of momma that will leave my daughter for my mom to raise. I think that's triflin'. She is gonna stay with me a little while while she finds a decent place and job if she can't transfer from where she is. I just hope it doesn't take too long because I love my mother dearly, but I love my space too. I will go ahead and put it out there that I would also find it hard to handle "grown folk bizness" with my momz in the next room. Whether it's my place or not! LMAO! Just ain't right! Well I gotz to take a nap this screen is giving me a headache. Till I post again....

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