Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Something is Wrong

First let me say that I heard not to long ago that R Kelly is going beyond his 5 part drama and will have 13 parts out by Christmas! I was disappointed after the first five, so if what I heard was true Kelly better come with it!

I was talking to an online friend of mine and they asked me how long it has been since I had sex. This friend and I are worst then young boys in a locker room talking about sexual adventures so this was okay. The problem was, I couldn't remember! So I checked the calendar and it will be 6 weeks this weekend!!!! OMG! Just a couple of months ago I couldn't go 2 days without going on "rape a negro mode" and now I am going on 6 weeks and I don't feel any urge to make a booty call! Something has got to be wrong! This can't be, me? the big girl that actually had a rotation going? Me, the one who is about 3 levels away from needing Eric Bennet type couseling? Me????Nahhhh. Voodoo man...I mean T-lo even hit me up on the email talking about how much he appriciates me being around during his rough spots in life and that he likes me for it. Now any other time I would have started bugging out cuz he actually let his fingers type "I like you" and go off into this fairytale lala land type fantasy, but I wasn't phased. I knew he like sexing me and I reeeeeeeally like sexing him but man! I didn't blog that this fool gave me an open invitation to his place the other day! WTF!!!?!?!?!?! What young single black man is going to give out an open invitation to me, a darn near nympho? Now I know he is crazy!

Then there is lookalike...he is very sweet, handsome, nice, pays attention to me (Leo's need attention) and all that good stuff. Why don't I have the urge to have sex with him? Why can't I allow myself to act like the girlfriend he wants in his life? I don't know. All this is so out of character for me. Any other time I would have been ran all through that! Like I said, there is something wrong with me. I wonder how long this lack of lust will hover over me?

Now granted, I have gone longer than 6 weeks before, but I had just got out of a long term relationship and I wasn't feeling messing with no one. But now, there is no reason. I just don't have the urge.....I have to log this day in my journal!

2 comments:

BlueAngel said...

I think it's that bad boy thing...women always seem to be drawn to men who are bad...or at least act bad.

Ladynay said...

That's true! I likes a lil bad thug in my men...but I don't think that is it. I have lost my sex drive and I am concerned.