Monday, September 11, 2006

Death

I didn't meet up with Marlon Friday. By time his responsibilities ended mine were about to begin and I wasn't bout to go downtown, get a hug and get back in the van...no sir! LOL The wind told me we'll hook up in the near future so I ain't worried bout it.

I went to the wake. They did a good job on my grandfather, but it looked like he had on gold lipstick *to me* my fam said it was just vasaline. Pooka didn't get to close to the body but at least she came in the room. My biological dad showed up. He picked Pooka up and was walking around like proud grandpa. What and ever. He said that he had a surprise for me. I am back in Raleigh and I still ain't seen it, maybe the surprise was him showing up at the funeral with a wedding tux on, tail and all, with this multi colored vest underneath! Lawwwwwwd have mercy, I wasn't even in the right frame of mind to tell him about himself.

The funeral was a funeral. I sat in the front daggone pew. I had a small moment when this lady sung The Battle is not yours, it's the Lords (I don't know if that's the name but that is the chorus). Mommy just put her arm around me and Pooka wiped my eyes which I thought was very sweet. My cousin sang this song called this song called "Sending up my Timber" and we almost had church up in there. He sang that song like nobodies business!!!! The other moment came when the service was over and they were moving the body from the front of the church to the back for viewing. I felt the tears coming then. As the family stood the tears got closer and closer. While walking down the aisle I had to close my eyes cuz it felt like everyone was watching us. When I saw him, it came. The idea that this was the last time I would see his physical form ever again just messed with me and I let go. I touched his suit and the next thing I knew I was at the limo. Mommy had my left arm and my cousin's husband had my right arm. My cousin's husband asked me if I was okay, I nodded my head, opened my eyes, and my first thought was "when did I go down all those steps of the church?" then we all got in the limo to get it together.

We sat in that limo for a lonnnnnng time before someone finally told us that we had a flat tire! I mean really, it would take my grandfathers funeral for the family limo to go flat! They got the issue dealt with a good while later and we went to the cemetery to place him in the ground.

The family ate at the church then gathered at my cousin's house where we were staying. A lot of people shared stories about my grandfather. A lot of things I didn't know like how him and my grandma met and how he used to reference her as "My *insert grandma's name*" how he used to have a 57 something or another and how they would race on those curvy dirt roads, and just a whole lot about my grandfather back in the day. One thing that drew alot of laughter was how my grandfather called everyone boy! Whether male or female he'd always say "cummere boy!" lol. He was being funny but that was just one of his things. I also learned that their wedding anniversary was Sept 1, (2 days b4 he passed) so they did actually made 44 years! That's amazing, some marriages can't keep it together for 4, none the less 44!

This weekend for me and some of my family seems unreal. It's like we are all dreaming all of this. We know what's going on and we are going through the motions, but it's like we are watching ourselves do it. Me and aunt diva had a long talk about how we were feeling Friday night after the wake. It was kinda like, we gonna go back to MD, go up the stairs, and granddaddy is going be up in his room watching TV like he always is.

Today is the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Today is the anniversary that cancer took the life of my grandmothers 1st born. Sept 9 (the day of the funeral) was the anniversary of the passing of my paternal grandmother (I can't believe it's been a year). While riding to the funeral my grandmothers brother said that with every funeral we just get closer and closer to the front.

Tell somebody that you love them today.

22 comments:

deepnthought said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I thankyou for sharing your thoughts with us. You be encouraged today.

Ladynay said...

Thank you DNT. Your thoughts and prayers are appriciated.

LUVIN ME said...

I'll be praying for you. You are such a strong person...and your great uncle was right, we all will have our turn...

Ladynay said...

Yeah luvin, that's true, we all gotta go at some point. Thank you for the prayers....

Ladynay said...

***correction*** The man who said the thing about getting closer to the front of the line was my grandfather's brother, not my grandmothers brother. See, 3 brothers married 2 sisters and a cousin and they call call each other brother and sister. So yeah I am multi related to some folks in my family *don't ask me to break it down*

Freaky Deaky said...

I wish I had words to take the sadness away but I don't. I do give a pretty decent hug though. (((Hug)))

Ladynay said...

Awwwww thank you Freaky....

blkbutterfly said...

at first i wasn't going to comment because i always get emotional when i hear about funerals. but, i changed my mind.

you're right, viewing the body is always the hardest part. at my mom's funeral, i dreaded that part.

props to you for holding up so well...

Ladynay said...

BB, yeah it is isn't it? It's so final. That's what messed with my mind the most, knowing that was the last time I could touch him.

~HoustonNY~ said...

You know that you will be in my prayers..... hang in there, especially on a day like today.....

Ladynay said...

T, today is a humbling day for most. Thank you.

MzNewAgenda said...

Nay,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today. (((hugs)))

Ladynay said...

Thanks NewNew!

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

The songs always get the best of me.

Ladynay said...

Southern, even when I am not close to the person in the casket, the songs touch me....

Thanks....

Emotionalbrotha said...

*cyber hug*

stay strong..

Ladynay said...

Tx EB! I appriciate that

fuzzy said...

I Love All who may read this comment. Try me and see, I'll love you alright!

This post takes me back to many funerals of very close family members and friends that have passed within the past 5 or 6 years.

::Sigh::

As I wipe the few tears that came down my face I extend a Virtual Hug to you. I really don't know what to say and nothing I could say would take away the hurt you feel. But I do pray that your emotional recovery come soon and quickly.

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Hey Lady! How are you? I hope that all is going okay, especially in light of the recent death in your family. It is never easy but be encouraged my friend. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

No dad didn’t show up with a tux on!?!!?!? Now that is a mess!

Ladynay said...

Awwww Fuzzy thanks! I love you too, with that agape love (the good stuff) :-D

XTC, thank you and yes he did girl! I am thinking he had to borrow something dressy and the only thing he could get his hands on was somebodies wedding tux! LOL That multicolored vest was saying something! :-P

ShawnQt said...

u know ur an inspiration right?

Ladynay said...

If you say so Shawn.