Monday, November 13, 2006

Tyrone

Todays post will probably deter you from ever wanting to come to see me, but it's not like you was going to anyways so whatever! LOL

I met Tyrone last night. He was sitting in the middle of my kitchen floor when I walked in to grab a drink of water before bed. His many legs and tad bit of width to him made him more than just a grab a shoe and smash type. When it comes to bugs, I am the standard female. I don't like 'em! But I got to kill them because it's just me here to do it! I can kill ants and daddy long legs with a shoe, which means getting up on the bug, but anything thicker than a daddy long legs gets sprayed! Just like Tyrone was going to!

Luckily but unluckily I only have to deal with ants and spiders at my place. The ants only really come out to play in the summer time, thank goodness! This one time I did see this huge centipede looking thing in my house and it's scared me so bad I think I sprayed it for 2 complete minutes! LOL But that's about it for insect life around my complex.

So anyways, I walk up on Tyrone and he just stood still seemingly looking at me. I grabbed the handy dandy spray and spray him. Of course he gets to running but he was in the middle of the kitchen so there was no place for him to go. I coated him with spray and stood back to watch him die. I hate to admit it, but I like watching bugs die after I spray 'em. I can't explain it. It's like I am carrying out the law or something. See when I am outside, I try not to mess with the insects unless they messing with me or my stuff, but when an insect is in immediate range of any entrance to my place, or actually in my place, that is a death sentence buddy! So sentencing was carried out on Tyrone. He twitched and spasmed for a bit then was still. I went to get the broom to throw him out and when I came back, this joker was on the move! A slow move but trying to walk none the less! So I hit him again with the spray. He seizured some more and went cold again....so I thought. As he layed on his back, his legs would draw in and out. When a spider dies they draw their legs in. So everytime he would flex a few legs I was astonished! This was a daggone soldier spider! That's why I named it!

I watched for a good 30 seconds to see if he would just die already, but Tyrone wasn't going out like that! I mean typical spiders get sprayed and less than a minute later their in insectopia! But not Tyrone! We was going on 5 minutes! So I get tired of watching Tyrone and decided to help him out by smothering him with spray FOR THE 3RD TIME. I should've just took a shoe and called it a night, but I couldn't for some reason. I cut the light out and left Tyrone to die, I'd just throw him out in the morning. I must admit, the way Tyrone was fighting death, I thought I'd wake up this morning and he was gonna be right beside me on my pillow! LOL

Tyrone did finally make it to insectopia some time last night, he was all curled up in the spot I left him in. I hope if I die by the hands of someone else (which I probably won't cuz I have an idea of how I am dying) that it's quick and painless or like Tyrone, fighting till the end so my killer will have to work to take me out. Like that Brazilian woman who got shot 6 times in the head by her exhubby and lived! She wasn't going out like that! Now ole boy's on the run!

Now who says there is nothing to blog about? ROFL!

19 comments:

nikki said...

i felt like i was right there watching you take out tyrone. for a minute there, i thought you were talking about some trife negro who showed up at your spot to ask you for money. LOL

Ladynay said...

Girlllll that daggone spider was st8 hood! LOL

I haven't had a brotha show up and ask for money in a long time *knock on wood*! ROFL

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Damn it Tyrone!

I hate killing bugs with a shoe or anything that requires hitting them. I'm shivering just thinking aobut it.

Ladynay said...

Wuddup Southern!

I don't really like to hit them either :-( That would mean getting close to whatever it is! UGH!

Freaky Deaky said...

[Decides not to knock on Ladynay's door and ask her for money, that double cheeseburger, and chocolate ice-cream she promised me.]

I don't think Tyrone's family is just going to let it rest. They're already plotting revenge on you now. BWAHAHAHA!!!

TTD said...

i feel the same way about bugs.. .SSPPPRRRAAAAYYYY!!! I hate to squish them couse if w/ a shoe.. i hear it.. it w/ a tissue.. i feel it! YUCK!

i thought you were going to say that bad boy was gone when you went to get him this morning! lol

Ladynay said...

Awwwww no double cheeseburgers and icecream???? *lower lip quivering w/sadness* I left out the $ intentionally! LOL

Well I got something for Tyrone's family if they got a plot! They better stay outside if they know what's good for them! Coming near me or my place is a death wish!

TTD, you've killed a bug with tissue? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Shoot just picking it up with a tissue bothers me! I gotta get the broom and dust pan! UUUUUUGH!

Ladynay said...

Oh, and if he was gone this morning....I'd still be home right now spraying down every crack and corner DOWN! Then probably have nightmares and jump every time I thought I felt something! LOL

Omar Ramon said...

good lawd... Tyrone said "you gots ta do betta than that,baby!" LMAO thas a mess.

Ladynay said...

Heyyyy O! Tyrone wasn't playing with me! You right! ROFL!

Freaky Deaky said...

The lower lip quivering is kind of hot but I don't want it quivering because of sadness. :o)

[Sad puppy dog face.] I can't believe you conveniently left out the money. :o( Why, oh why?

You say you got something for them but are you really ready to go to war with Tyrone's family and crew? Why so squeamish with the bugs? I suppose you've never clapped a fly in mid air with your bare hands before, huh? I've known people that killed roaches with their bare hands or feet. Remember children learn to fear bugs by watching their parents' reactions to them. Show no fear and Pooka won't retreat from them like the French during a military incursion.

Ladynay said...

FD, cuz brotha's that only come by to ask for money are triflin' that's why! LOL

I have killed a gnat or 2 bare handed but that's it! Just the thought of killing that other stuff with my bare body parts gives me a chill.

Pooka actually will play with the ants before killing them. She has already learned to go for the spray for the other stuff so she's already picked up my habits! I know it's my fault....:-( She's a little Dr. Doolittle with everything else tho'!

fuzzy said...

lol I have to admit I beem way way WAY too lax with the comments that I shoot your way... but I'm trying to do better. But I got so excited that my middle name was the header of your post until I started to read it... I was shocked, mortified and ROTF LMFAO! HAHAHAHA I am almost the same way with bugs. When I get the guts up to face them i like to torture them. trap them in jars, pour clorox on them! hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha (thats an evil laugh!) well I'll smell ya later!

Ladynay said...

Fuzzy darlin, as much as I love comments I won't get on you for not commenting. It just makes it that much more special when you do *wink*

Sorry I used your name for a spider, I would have picked another name had I known! ROFL

Clorox???? MMMMMMM oooookayyyyyy! LOL I'll leave that alone!

blkbutterfly said...

while i can understand the spray gets the job done quickly, i hate the stuff. the smell just lingers on and on. i'm quick to use my shoe, though!

i agree w/ nikki... i also felt like i was right there with you!

deepnthought said...

wow
tyrone

Ladynay said...

BB, happy belated! There are unscented sprays out there that don't linger that long, but if the shoe 1st method is your thing, go for what you know! LOL

DNT, yeah I named him cuz he was gansta! :-D

The Goddess said...

I'm am in stitches over here at the fact that you named the spider. Tyrone at that. That's classic. But I feel you cause I hate bugs; spiders, ants all of em. UGH! Good thing I have kids and a man to kill em for me cause I'd be a mess. LOL

Ladynay said...

Hi Goddess, thanks for coming by! What? Tyrone was gansta! I keep telling yall! Imma get me one of those man things one day to kill my bugs for me! LOL