This evening I got a tad down. A daily radio show host had a show about fat people. Even though it wasn't his intent, the underlying message I got is that if I stay the weight I am I will die. Now to an extent it's true. As a morbidly obese person I am more likely to get stuff that will take me out. I understand that. But the thing that got to me was that the host kept saying stuff like, lets stop talking about losing weight and lose weight. This is coming from a someone who's probably never been a heavyweight and that bothers me. That's like me telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking when I have never been drunk. Then I got to thinking about how when I applied for life insurance with my job I got denied even though all my health levels were terrific. The nurse took my blood and urine and mailed me a 5 page list of all my results. I was denied because of my age and weight the company didn't expect me to live 20 years. Thanks! I guess I am fortunate to still be alive this long.
So my self esteem took a little hit. I am doing what I can to get where I should be and that's all I can do. After work I hit the grocery store to buy some more greenery for my salad bowl. Fortunately some of it was still on sale. Today my favorite fruit cups were on sale. I would have brought 'em all but I only had but so much money! :-( I picked up some other sale items I needed and 2 items I didn't need because I am having company tomorrow! Guess who of all people? Babydaddy! Surprised? Yeah me too.
Tomorrow evening Pooka is performing in a Christmas thing at school. I mentioned it to BD in conversation awhile ago and he said then that he was coming. I didn't think he meant it!!! He calls me up at work asking if he could crash on my couch. Being this came out the blue I was confused then he told me he was coming to see Pooka at school. Now on one hand I am sad because I don't feel like having any company, but I am glad and fortunate that he is doing his fatherly job. I can blog everyday for a long time about negatives on this dude, but I can never honestly say that he's not doing what he can for Pooka. I haven't told Pooka he's coming. The plan is to pick her up from daycare and he's gonna be outside the door when she comes out the building. She is gonna flip, I can't wait! She's gonna be pleasantly surprised and I love it! What I love more is I can take a couple of hours off to myself. He is supposed to take her to dinner after the program so I get to come home and chill. Then he gets to wake her up in the morning and get her started while I stay in the bed a bit longer. YAY!
How do I feel about him being here? Not bad. He's leaving after we drop Pooka off at daycare Friday morning so he won't be here long enough to get on my nerves. After our last attempt at sex I know I don't have to worry about any of that. The focus will be on Pooka and when she is sleep, if I know him like I think, he'll be writing on his laptop most the night while I'm sleep and his cell will be blowing up with his "friends" so he'll be occupied. Great. I picked up one of his favorite snacks and cartons of juice. Yes I didn't need to but...they were on sale! LOL I tend to do this for everyone I know is coming by my place, not just him. Example, if TTD was to tell me she was coming this way for a weekend and I saw some skiddles I'd pick them up...and bottle on henny if I had the money. LOL! I don't usually buy that stuff, but it wouldn't go to waste if she decided not to come.
Hmmm what else? School is almost over! Well this semester anyways. I have my EP final on Monday and my Physics final on Thursday. Tomorrow is a study session for the physics final. It's not mandatory to show, but I am going. Maybe my persistence in the mist of not so hot work will curve his heart for me. Many people have told me that he gives you what you earn and he don't give breaks, but I got to try. I am not going to let the people in my class (the few of us left) who have taken his class once or twice before discourage me. Grades have to be posted up by noon on the 18th so for my blog entry on the 19th I am either going to be screaming or crying! LOL Either way I already know that I am not taking Physics II till the summer. I have to take Intro to PE and it's at the same time as Physics.
My advisor asked me how did I take (and pass) all these higher level Phys Ed courses and not have taken Intro which is a freshman year prerequisite. I told her I didn't know, but the truth is every time she put me down for it I went online and changed it. It conflicts with something important at my job. It still does but I am gonna have to pray and sweet talk my higher ups into letting me slide on this procedure for 3 months. *sigh* This course has been on the same days and at the time since I started NCCU and my advisor said it won't change so I am going to have to take it eventually. I chose it over Physics cuz Physics is offered over the summer and Intro to PE isn't. Blah blah blah blah
If you have a prayer list add my girl Party Girl to it. I got a chance to break bread with her and even tho' her head is high she is stressed you can see it in her eyes. What was supposed to be a quick 1/2 hour lunch bite turned into a 2 hour vent session. I wish I could have stayed and let her get all of it out but we both had things we had to get back to. :-(
Well it's time to go dance off my yogurt and pretend Imma skinny girl.