Wednesday, December 19, 2007


I live less than 10 miles from my place of employment and on cold days like today the heat in my van gets nice and toasty just when I turn onto the street my job is on! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY UGH!

Yesterday was the 1st graders holiday festival of song. Last year Pooka froze up and didn't sing. I would find the post, but as always I am too lazy to find it. LOL This year she sang and danced just like she was supposed to. I vowed that next year I will be recording it. It was weird, when the kids came on stage and found their place on the stand I started to feel the emotion in my chest. Then this pretty little girl with a few teeth missing in the front came to the mic and said something to the effect of Welcome to the first graders holiday bestible. OMG she was sooooooo precious my eyes started to water and I covered my mouth! As they sung and performed I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I was having a serious momma moment! LOL What got the tears to start falling was this rap the kids did about Rudolph. They all had on these shades and was doing the stereotypical rapper hand movements and I like to DIED it was so funny. I hate I don't have that on tape cuz that was YouTube material for real! After it was over we had to pick the kids up in their classrooms and a few students, Pooka included, started crying because they didn't want to leave! Wow! I wonder how long they are going to cry to stay in school. Hmmmmm!

I was talking to someone the other day and I had told them that I thought some people were beneath me. After I made that comment I thought on it a bit and asked myself who I thought was beneath me and came to the conclusion that it's not the people that are beneath me, but it's their choices and standards that are beneath mine. For instance, street drug dealers. I know a few of them and even dated one once upon a time and the people are cool people but what they do is beneath me. I'll never say never, but it's a good bet that you won't find me trying to sale more than an aspirin to someone if that.

Another thing I thought about was gang members. That type of life is beneath me. For Rock Rock to take a random life just so he can be a part of a click of people that have a very strong need to feel a part of a unit no matter what the unit is about is just plain dumb IMO. To the gang leader Rock Rock just got upgraded when he took whomever out, to me he just got down graded. I think I am above that.

Then I thought about Whitebrotha, if you've been following my boring life long enough you know who he is. He is someone I care about and consider a friend, awhile back him and his girlfriend came to live with me. Whitebrotha was born and raised in the street and due to that he is a felon. Now he has served his time but it's hard for him to find decent employment so he finds himself often working fastfood when he works. The whole concept of being labeled for life is another post but what I am getting to is his standard. I have never been close to being in the shoes he's in, but if I made some bad choices, got caught a time or few, got a society label that made life hard for me I think that I would fight like hell to make something out of nothing. For instance when he was living with me he worked at the infamous arches. He was cool with what he did and what he made. That wouldn't be enough for me cuz I know I can do better and I knew he could, he just didn't want to. I think I would bust my butt and slowly make my way up to manager, district, regional, so forth and so on. If your resume don't look great you got work your way up and show folks you can do it. Just like I started this job as a temp in the call center with ZERO official office experience and worked my way up to team lead. Just like I plan to work the hell out of this volunteer position at the hospital. I want to make a mark so that when I leave the people are like "hey, I want her on my staff". It's all about standards and goals. Whitebrotha as a person is no better than me but his mentality/willing to be content with the bottom level of whatever you're dealing with is beneath me. I choose to strive to function on a higher level.

While I am thinking about work, since I've been out of school I have been busting ass at work and it seems like I am the only one. Me no like dat!

My cousin tried to get her household to eat salad for dinner the other night. Her 3 year old son told her that he didn't want salad. When told he didn't have a choice because she wasn't cooking, he told her that salad was for goats and that her and my other fam were some goats! When I heard this story last night I like to have died laughing!

On another never say never tip, I know someone who would NEVER date a married man who is now "friends" with a married man. Granted, they've been seeing each other for months now and she just found out last week he was ball and chained, but she chose not to do anything about it. Of course he gave her the "I'm not happy and I'm leaving her" line. I am waiting for my blog entry when I state that the person called me to tell me the wife called her and the drama that comes out of that. I have nothing to say cuz shoot, they are all grown!

There is a 27 year old blogger that has a hereditary disease and is laying in a hospital bed right now. Even though he is getting better there is a chance he may not leave that building alive. Even though I am not as close to him as other bloggers that he interacts with outside of the internet realm it still touches my insides. I ask that if you talk to higher powers that you mention Jay the next time you talk. *sigh* I couldn't help to ask myself...what if the 27 years I have already under my belt was all that I got? What if that was me in that bed? Man.

Christmas is Tuesday.

A week from that, the calendar year will be over.

I just made myself sad so I'll end here.


kasandra said...

Well and I are so alike it's scary!!! I am striving to be better and sometimes I look down on people who don't try to do better because I know they can as well. For instance, my son's father. He is just as lazy minded as can be and all he does is settle. I CAN'T STAND THAT!!! But what I have to realize, it's his life, not mine. If the way he lives his life makes him happy, then I'm happy for him. I have my own life and my own goals, too bad for him!!!

Freaky Deaky said...

Just a big ol' cry baby, that's what you are. LOL. Someone's a softie for cute kids with speech impediments.

All Pooka wanted to do was wind down with her piers after her performance and you just dragged her off. Boo! I said boo!

I hope Rock Rock doesn't do a blog-by since you talking him up like that.

Ladynay said...

Kasandra, at the end of the day we have to figure that most folks are grown. I am sure people think whatever about me but I'm old enough to make whatever choices I want. *shrug*

Freaky, I am a softie for cute kids period! The speech was just a bonus for her :-)

Whatever, it was still a school night and momma was hungry! ROFL

Rock Rock will be retaliated against. I know folks who know folks who know folks that know where he hang out! ;-)

I am J said...

*smh* at your friend and her unhappy friend. LOL @ them also.

I fell out at the "goats eat salad" Children are a straight trip.

I think you and I think the same. I speak on forward movement all the time and find myself feeling that same "thats beneath me" feeling.

Ladynay said...

Girl, we humans do the strangest things sometimes.

When I heard that my cousin call our fam some goats I liked to died.

I am glad some people get what I mean.

ShawnQt said...

thank you for thinking of my friend... :)

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

life is hard for felons in america

Ladynay said...

Shawn, ur welcome.

3 comments in the same week from you is scary! LOL

Torrance, from the little I know I can say that I never want to have that label stuck on me.

tina harris said...


I have been very ill myself and it's hard to type now. The part in your post in which you described the children's function was very moving to me. I never really got to see my son because I was teaching while his grade was presenting their gig.
A caring parent, jus tone, is enough for a child to stay away from trouble. I am glad you are one. There are many people with ailmesnts. Focus on yourself so you 'll be strong and on your child. May you be blessed today and forever.

Chris said...

Hi, I can't find any contacts on your blog. Can I ask you to send a note for me? My email is in profile.
Thanks, Chris

Ladynay said...

Awww thanks Tina, you be blessed as well. Take care of that illness you got going on.

Chris, I'm confused. What do you want?