Monday, July 13, 2009

Soooo ummmmmm

I feel the need to blog.

Not feeling all happy happy joy joy as I usually do.

No great news to report.

Things aren't going my way like it usually does.

Feeling kinda ugly.

Supervisor just called me as I was typing. In August the 8hr/wkend position will be eliminated. She wants me to take the 7am-7pm shift. I told her I didn't have childcare to do that. She said she is going to make some calls cuz she reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally wanted me to work that shift. What she means is that she cant afford to lose any more staff.

I am in need of attention.

I'm feeling sensitive about my appearance.

My friend basically called me fat. I acknowledge that Ive changed over the years, I just didn't feel like being reminded of how much I changed.

I am also aware that people in my career field do not look like me. Its hard to find a black PT, its a needle in the haystack finding a black, morbidly obese one w/locs.

I am doing my part for the cause. Ive been doing the healthy thing 95% of the time, just not today.

Where is Pookas classmate that said I was pretty?

You shouldn't want positive outside confirmation of your appearance, it should come from within. As much as I know that, I still want it.

Woman come on to Snookums all the time. No guys come onto me like that. When did I lose it?

Needing to depend on anybody to conduct your financial business sucks serious ass.

Trying to pick myself up, I went to hardees for some cheese fries. I got lamp warm fries w/very little unmelted cheese on top. That pissed me off. So not the finger licking mess I was looking for.

I want to not be an adult, throw myself onto the ground, and have a temper tantrum.

8 comments:

Jameil said...

ehug. you really need one right now. everyone could use a little outside affirmation every once in a while. I hope you feel better soon.

AR Gal said...

Sounds like you're having one of those kind of days. They roll up on me at least a few times month.

Boooo to your friend. We all have flaws.

Yay to your boss trying to make it work to keep you.

Freaky Deaky said...

Your friend is an insensitive tactless ass. What?! It needed to be said. There's a difference in being honest and being mean.

She wants you working 12 hours a day both days? Good luck with that. You're a much better person than me. Whenever I open up a sweat shop to produce my tee shirt line you will be my #1 pick in the work like a Jamaican or Chinese kid slave draft. I got you! :oD

Come on Dr. Freaky has what you need. Let's go into that dark room with the big, solid wood desk and I'll see about getting you a happiness injection. What?!

Go ahead and have that temper tantrum. Just make sure you do it at home if you don't want AR Gal posting it on her blog. :o)

Insatiable One said...

What an insensitive thing for your friend to say. Sure it may not have been intentionally evil it still hurt.

Sometimes its nice to feel admired. So what you want an occassional outward appreciation. you're human. It's feel nice to feel wanted.

I feel you on the losing weight and all I can say is just do what you do for you. healthy is key.

Girl, women may hit on your man but your man hits on you. *idea!* They only wish they had what you have.

Ladynay said...

(((Jameil)))) thanks I do to, this sucks!

ARgal, yes and they SUCK! Did I mention they suck?

It's not like they haven't changed over the years too but did I say anything? Nope!

She is trying not to burn out her full time staff is what she is doing. It's not about me.

FD, it wasn't stated that way but that's how it was interpreted. Still hurt.

Yep, I want at least 30 bucks/hr to work a sweat shop.

*smh*

Yeah, she'll post it quich huh? :-)

Mo, It did and I am slowly getting over the comment.

I agree, it's nice.

Healthy is key, amen.

Freaky Deaky said...

$30 an hour?! Aww you're cute when you're delusional. LOL. I was thinking of a very generous $3 a day for you. You'll be amongst the highest paid of my sweatshop laborers. If you're good I'll let some of my management staff molest you after I'm done. I own the shop so I get dibs on everybody. BWHAHAHAHA!!!

Emotionalbrotha said...

Hey I think you need a cyber hug, Boy momma said there be days like this. Hope you feel better.

blkbutterfly said...

by now, i hope that you're feeling better. i'm a day late and dollar short, but here's my two cents:

1. We all deserve attention. We're human beings and need that little extra for others. Yes, you should be able to pull it from within, but you need other people too.

2. Women may hit on your man, but at the end of the day, you're the one he chooses! :)

3. Sadly, things won't always go out way. That's why we appreciate it even more when things ARE going our way.