Today is the 1st day of my "break" from Elon. I don't go back till May 3rd! I still have work to do but at least that is a full week that I don't have to commute!
Yesterday I had a meeting with one of my professors. Part of one of my finals was to videotape a scenario, critique it on our own, then view it with the professor for her 2 cent. After we went through that process she asked if she could talk to me "off the record". No prob. She goes on to remind me that in my career field people like me pretty much don't exist. She said that everyone in the program has to work hard, but since I have 2 things against me (in the field) 1)being overweight and 2)being black, I have to work 3 times as hard as everyone else. When I walk into patient room it won't be uncommon for people to automatically assume that I don't know what I'm doing or talking about because of my appearance. That's why I can't leave the program as just a good therapist, I have to be a damn good flawless therapist that's on top of her shit. People are going to look for reasons to be negative and always have something to say.
She said that she is going to be hard on me this up coming module. This module is very hands on and very much about techniques. She wanted to tell me up front so I wouldn't feel like she was picking on me. She said that people will eat me up for the smallest of mistakes, so she has made it point to make sure that I'm doing everything right and will get on me for every little thing. She mentioned that if their was anything I needed help or advice on to call her.
I am very much aware of my lack ability to blend in with the people in my field appearance wise and I told her I knew that my journey would be more difficult than the others. It's just reality.
I am sure that there are professors in the program that question my ability to succeed, so it's nice to know that I have at least one professor that's team Ladynay.
I hung out with some classmates last night (watched Sex in the City) and when I told them what she said they took it the WRONG way. We were talking about the next module and I was trying to say that my mod 3 will be worse than theirs because a professor all ready told me they were going to be on my butt (for good reason, but still)! I kept trying to make them understand that she was being supportive but they couldn't see it that way *shrug*
When I left my classmates place I took my cell phone out the cup holder I left it in to see if I had any calls. I had a very supportive text from Snookums waiting on me. It just got me thinking about all the people I have surrounding me that are team Ladynay. They communicate so much care to me it's just awesome! Like the 2nd year I carpool with for example. Everyday before an exam she'd text me a msg saying something like "Good luck this morning, you'll do awesome!" It cheers me up every time. I try to do the same in return but I am not as on point w/it as she is. Their is another 2nd year that struck up a conversation with me about what we are doing and I mentioned that this certain topic was kicking my butt. He mentioned it kicked his butt last year then offered to help me with anything he did understand that I didn't get in the future. Awesome! After my last test yesterday I was in the computer lab and some 2nd and 3rd years came in and I asked about how I did, I responded and got hugs and high five's! Awesome! I could go on and on about folks but I should be working and making that $$$ right now! LOL!
I really don't know what I'd do without their encouragement and support! I truly don't. Hope this support lasts a very long time. Members of Team Ladynay rock! LOL!