Friday, February 24, 2012

Blog entry 1020: Don't lower your dating standards

I am sitting here contemplating just how much of the story I want to share to get my point across. We will see what happens. For a little background info I will share that I have been back out on the dating scene for a little bit. So far there has been no one to write home (or blog) about. Due to my lack of success, I made a conscience decision to broaden my horizons and lower my standards a bit. I am not perfect so why expect as much as I do? Right? *sigh* Fast forward to yesterday.......

I am at the grocery store doing my thing when a guy near me starts talking.

"I love women with dreads."

Being that we were the only two people in the aisle it was safe to say he was talking to and about me. So I smiled and thanked him for the compliment. This leads to a brief conversation and a number exchange. He was a little more "street" than I typically go for but I am broadening my horizons right? I have to give him a chance get to know him before I say "oh hell nah" right? *sigh*

All last evening and night we sent texts back and forth. I don't mind text talk and I don't mind slang. I will be the first person to admit that grammar and spelling are NOT friends of mine. All that to say...people that only text/email/whatever in text talk and slang ALL THE TIME rub me the WRONG way. It is just a pet peeve. During our text chat I asked him twice to spell his words out so I could understand what he was saying. It's hard to understand slang that's severely misspelled, LOL! After reading his text became mentally painful I called him. We talked about various things and various red flags popped up about various things...but I need to give him chance right? LOL

Two things I found funny were when we were talking about the artist Lil Wayne. I said that I wasn't a fan but did listen so some of his songs. Dude asked why I wasn't a fan and I basically said because I don't understand what he talks about sometimes and he makes words up. I understand as an artist you have creative license to tweek stuff but Wayne loses me lyrically sometimes. Then dude was like "do you like his Motivation song". I asked him if he meant the Kelly Rowland song and he confirmed. He starts rapping Weezy's part then asked if I knew what he was talking about. I said no because honestly I tuned him out when he started doing what he called rapping.

"Motivation, Wayne is talking about motivation"

*crickets* "I thought he was talking about sexual skill"

Dude changed the subject. Later in the conversation we are talking about mouth jewelry/grills. He tells me that he stopped wearing his 3 months ago. I laughed and when asked why I laughed I admitted to thinking grills were silly and I think they make folks breath stink. He restated that he stopped wearing his 3 months ago.....UMMMMMMM they were out of style 3 months ago dude! LOL! I didn't say that though.

Towards the end of the conversation dude asked me for the fiddy lebbenth time when I was free to come see him. (He has no car...but I am giving him a chance right????) I lay out my busy schedule and ask him what works for him. He was trying to get me to go over there that night. Ummmmm no. Before hanging up he tells me that he has this fetish for large women to lay on him and that if we started dating he would want me to do it to him. I couldn't knock him for being so upfront with stating his fetishes so soon. He is a slim guy and I have heard of this kink before, but it was the first time being asked to potentially participate in such activities. In my state of shock I told him that I didn't know what my thoughts were on the topic and that we'd take the getting to know each other one day at a time. I try to be open minded to things within reason.

So this morning he shoots me a good morning text and asks again when I am coming to see him. I question his ambitiousness and motivation because he keeps asking. As the texts go back and forth I leave to start my day. I am not fond of texting and driving so I called him. We talk and I admit to him that his request was hard for me to process and that it was new territory for me. He tells me more about it and we struggle through another conversation that sends more red flags which included an argument over me using "astrologicalistal" words...which apparently means big words! LOL! The only word I may have used in our exchanges that had many syllables was hypothetical *sigh* Then he told me I was "prixy". I asked if he meant prissy and he "no, means that you think you better than everyone else. Look it up in the dictionary"


Fortunately by this time my 9am class was about to start so I ended the conversation. For the first hour I replayed all our mentally painful exchanges and decided that we were not compatible. During our first 10 minute break from class I called him to let him know my thoughts. I told him that "I did not think that we were a match", to which he hung up on me. I HATE when people do that, but I was okay with him doing it. He heard what I said and that's that. Done deal. All's good in my book. About 5 minutes later I get a text from dude basically saying that he had a girlfriend anyway and not to make any contact with him. I laughed at the text then deleted him from my cell (delete, delete, deleeeete, ROFL) Bullet successfully dodged. Thank you Jesus!

So basically dude, whose girl is probably a trophy chick that is not heavy enough to satisfy that particular kink of his, wanted me for a fat girl fantasy toy on the side! Ummmmmmm nah bruh, this ain't that type of party in my world. I am a woman of quality, not some play chick. He better find him a fat chickenhead to play games with. I am not the one.

I have decided that dude is the LAST of the few dudes that I will try to get to know despite them not really meeting the criteria of what I want.

I want what I want and while I know there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect, I know there is a Mr. Right for Ladynay :) I simply refuse to lower my standards again.


Jameil said...

I'm sorry. Did you say astrologicalistal?!!? And you think you're better than everyone else? I AM better than the person coming at me with a stream of foolishness!! THAT MEANS YOU!! Be a better person, sir. Ugh. I'm so glad you will NOT be brought down by his inferiority complex and that it only takes one fool to remind you that your standards are there for a reason! Phew!

blkbutterfly said...

Yes, ma'am... DELETE, DELETE, DELETE! Because he is what?... A mess! LOL!

I'm sorry but I hollered at "prixy." Like, really, dude? And then he told you to look it up in the dictionary. Jesus be a Webster's dictionary!

I think we've all had experiences that snap us back to reality about lowering standards.

Ladynay said...

Jameil, yes he did girl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Inferiority complex hit the nail on the head!

BB, TRUTH! What makes it even worse is prixy isn't even a word in the dictionary. I checked the urban dictionary online to be sure! LOL!

E said... definitely dodged a bullet with that one. I feel you on not finding a guy worthy to blog about. I've hit that wall myself. If I do blog about them, it's because of the obnoxious behaviors and red flags that I pick up on.

Hey. At least you gave him a shot. We do have to listen to those red flags. :-)

Gorgeous_Puddin said...

I guess the word hypothetical pushed him over the edge. And prixy? Really?

"I want what I want and while I know there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect, I know there is a Mr. Right for Ladynay :) I simply refuse to lower my standards again."<= YAS! to all of this!

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

LMAO I learned a long time ago, that having standards is a good thing. Because this right a mess! lol

Jc "Teezie" Wooten said...

You mean delete, block and thank you Jesus! LOL He don't have a gf he can't even spell gf! LOL

Still SMH at Motivation! LOL

I feel you on that dating front. I decided that I am not going to lower my standards. Because if I compromise 9 times out of 10 they don't! SMH

After talking to a dude I make sure to let him know.... I don't know slang. And that you need to talk "ENGLISH" to me. If they can't do that..... I'm out!

I feel you on the no car thing. I don't complain about that one because I live in the country and I don't want any dude down here anyway. So I usually go to them or meet up somewhere very public.

Dating........ No Commment!

AR Gal said...

Prixy? Woooooooooowwwwwwwwww.

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